Hospitalized Depressed and Alone

For the past few weeks, my life was looking as though I was getting better. My moods were good and 90% of my days were pretty happy. I found new friends, found a couple people that I ended up dating. I was happy for once…then last week it all went downhill. I began to get really depressed and started having pains in my stomach. I am a stomach sleeper so I was also having trouble sleeping bc it hurt so bad. Then the swelling and redness started…now none of this was subtle. From the time the pain started till the redness and swelling got their worst, was 3 days..3 days of hell…I was out of town visiting a friend, well someone I thought id end up marrying, I was 4 hrs from my hospital plus I’m too stubborn to come home early…on Monday of this week I drove myself 4 hrs back home, by myself after fighting with my “friend” and drove myself to the hospital. I got there round 2pm, They did a battery of tests, and by 9pm I was admitted into the hospital where it was determined that the shunt I have for my Spina Bifida was infected. The entire right side of my body was a pool of infection. From the bottom of the breast to my belly button. It was hard s a ball, swollen and red. That same night, while awake mind you, the Dr’s did a procedure where they cut part of the shunt out of my neck but I had very little numbing medicine in me…felt and saw it…it was awful. So now I’ve got an exposed tube attached to a bag to drain and an infected stomach and shunt tube…I am in Intensive Care and will be for a least a week…I might get to home then but will have an IV bag, or I will be here a total of 2 weeks or more…I have no one with me…my family has come to see me 1 time…ie had very few visiters and no one to talk to with texting…I am so depressed and sad…I also found out tonight that the infection could have spread to my brain which could cause Menengitis…if I get that, I could die…now I’m not upset about that, if I die well then yay…but it would be slow and id be alone…which is the thing I am most scared of…to be alone…and I am…so very very alone :'(