My first attempt on my life was at 7. I tried od’ing on sleeping pills and hanging years later. For as long as I can remember, I’ve been depressed and wishing I would die. I’m now 31.
I`m 52. First depression age 15, then 17, 23, 27, 31, 33, 35 -36, 39, 42, 44-45, respite till 48, 50 through current. Last few times suicidal ideation. Too tired now, it’s suicidal planning now. Wow as I look at them all, it`s pretty pathetic. Surprised I waited this long, but obligations, etc. First meds at 23 and on and off various ones since then, nothing works, I really don`t think their intended to.
Incredible to see that some people have had/still have suicidal thoughts for such a long and are still with us today. Truly show how resilient you guys are …
I suffered in isolation for over 15 years (no chat forums). Now at 42 I see a lot of people in their 20s using these forums to chat about their pain and suicidal thoughts. I also see, like me in my 20s, a lot of younger people who compare their pain to others and think nothing could be worse than theirs (EGO!). I also see a lot of people who refuse any responsibility for their lives and don’t want to get better. But what the fuck do I know? Maybe I’m just some joker whose pain wasn’t as horrible as yours. This need to compare one’s state of mind to others is absurd. I don’t bother giving any advice because the people on this kind of forum aren’t looking for help or the perspective of someone who made it through my savage years and now has a pretty good life with a wife and daughter. And I have to work at it everyday–to not fall in that pit of self-loathing–just like the alcoholic wanting to take that drink. But most people don’t want to do any work to help themselves. Read some Ralph Waldo Emerson and then decide to live or kill yourself. If it’s that difficult to kill yourself, you either really don’t wont to die and won’t admit it or you are a fucking moron. Yes I’ve thought about killing myself for over two decades, but I will not. My pain doesn’t own me anymore.
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For the last 4 years ….suicidal for the last 3
For too long. Since I was 16 (I am now 25), with the worst of it all within the last year.
since the night my wife left me.
I was normal before that.
Got depressed at times before that, but not to the level of actually wanting to end it all.
My docs told me I have “situational depression” due to events.
They refuse to put me on antidpressants because they say it wouldn’t help.
I take a good dose of Clonazepine each night (and now 1 in the morning) so I can at least sleep some.
My most severe condition is my high blood pressure from the severe stress. It has been way above stroke/heart attack level for a while now.
It’s been 9 years. .
My first attempt on my life was at 7. I tried od’ing on sleeping pills and hanging years later. For as long as I can remember, I’ve been depressed and wishing I would die. I’m now 31.
Anxiety to some extent my whole life… which can cause some depression.
Depressed off and on for seven, pretty steady for almost two years.
Suicidal about a year, after I realized that I can’t fix my personality and due to physical problems and pain.
@wifeisgone… glad the docs didn’t put you on drugs. My depression is also situational and pills just screw up your brain, I will never try them.
I`m 52. First depression age 15, then 17, 23, 27, 31, 33, 35 -36, 39, 42, 44-45, respite till 48, 50 through current. Last few times suicidal ideation. Too tired now, it’s suicidal planning now. Wow as I look at them all, it`s pretty pathetic. Surprised I waited this long, but obligations, etc. First meds at 23 and on and off various ones since then, nothing works, I really don`t think their intended to.
11 or 12 is when I gradually started to deteriorate. I reckon I had experienced depression prior, I just weren’t aware of it.
Just a year or two, but considering I’m 13, that’s quite a chunk of my life.
About 9 years, at the very least. At least that’s when I start counting from my suicidal thoughts.
So I take offense when people think it’s easy to change. I’ve been on drugs, but they won’t ever really do anything for me…
Incredible to see that some people have had/still have suicidal thoughts for such a long and are still with us today. Truly show how resilient you guys are …
I suffered in isolation for over 15 years (no chat forums). Now at 42 I see a lot of people in their 20s using these forums to chat about their pain and suicidal thoughts. I also see, like me in my 20s, a lot of younger people who compare their pain to others and think nothing could be worse than theirs (EGO!). I also see a lot of people who refuse any responsibility for their lives and don’t want to get better. But what the fuck do I know? Maybe I’m just some joker whose pain wasn’t as horrible as yours. This need to compare one’s state of mind to others is absurd. I don’t bother giving any advice because the people on this kind of forum aren’t looking for help or the perspective of someone who made it through my savage years and now has a pretty good life with a wife and daughter. And I have to work at it everyday–to not fall in that pit of self-loathing–just like the alcoholic wanting to take that drink. But most people don’t want to do any work to help themselves. Read some Ralph Waldo Emerson and then decide to live or kill yourself. If it’s that difficult to kill yourself, you either really don’t wont to die and won’t admit it or you are a fucking moron. Yes I’ve thought about killing myself for over two decades, but I will not. My pain doesn’t own me anymore.