husband of 30 years divorced me for a younger woman and left me nothing no alimoney lost my house and my job. living on my sis couch crying dont know what to do. Lost my health Ins and cant take my anti depressant meds cant afford them. Going to lose my car soon, then I won’t even be able  go to work.   I am so depressed and I want to throw up my hands and give up and end it all.  I look for work for hours a day.  I am not young anymore.  One day I am going to snap and do it.  I cry almost all the time.  My body shakes, my chest pounds, my head hurts.  I know there are probaly worse then me but it dont help me to know that, because the pain and torture I am induring now is destroying me.
share your suicide story
Report Post
Please log in to report posts
19 comments
OK. Be gentle tonight. Make the decision to talk with someone that you can be candid with and who can help. You probably know who that would be already. Make the decision to ask for help.
Hello
It might be a turning point in your life, for the better. We can be your suicidal friends if you like.
Look at my name here. I could have (and did) write a post just like yours, word for word.
Thats why I am here to begin with.
Only difference is mine abandoned me after 14, so I can and do know EXACTLY how you feel.
PLEASE, DO NOT do what I did. I didn’t take my abandonment well when my wife showed up with a moving truck. I almost died that night after taking 30 full strength Ambien and drowning in the sea.
You will need assistance for this, because it is severe and cand will take you down if you let it.
For tonight…. see if you can go to a friend in real life. If not, go to a hotel and get a room, away from your place.
Send me an email too please…. you and I can and should talk.
FLwaterguy99@gmail.com
I will pray for you tonight too.
mine called 1 800 got junk and when I came home everything was gone
I have talked with people online and they tell me to get a grip, If i could get a grip i wouldnt be like this. Find God, I am trying, I pray to be well. I scream to be well. It never comes. I hate myself for surfing suicide sites but I am drawn to it. Sometimes I watch the suicide video over and over again. I have called the suicide hotline 3 times this month. I am so lost
I am so at the bottom and want to give up. I sleep on my sisters couch, i have no where else to go. i find myself surfing suicide and how do do it daily. I know i need help but with no money how can one get the help that is needed. I have been looking for work with no luck, even dishwasher waitrss, mcdonalds, but no luck. Perhaps its my age, i am 56. Suicide seems the only answer. The only thing tat stops me right now is i woulnt want my sister to find me, that would scare her for life. Pretty soon that feeling may go away and i’ll say screw it and just do it. I have called the suicide hotline 3 times already they help for the moment and then I just go onto death sites. I even found a video of a man commiting suicide online video. I watch that daily. I seem to get worse daily. I hate my divorce and life, I pray for things to get better but nothing yet.
email me please, now if you can.
yes ty for your prayers. You do kinda sound like me. I will email you if you want
ty
im checking my email now and waiting for yours….. please write….
ok, thanks i just sent you an email.
Didn’t forget you. It was late. Are you alright?
Thank You Duke, I am still here. TY for remembering me. I am a mixed up mess. Don’t know where to go or what to do. I sat in my car today, and put a bag over my head just for a few minutes but i couldnt go through with it. Life has never been so low. I have no purpose. I dont know how to move on.
Really. Well, we’re all messed up and sometimes, I think I prefer it that way. I think you’ve just got to see it out. Purpose will come and you’ll find a way forward. You’ve managed it so long already and when you examine, what’s fundamentally different from before? Your husband has gone but I assume things weren’t right for some time. You can get by without a car and you might find an even better job.
do you have any children?
Our marriage was fine so I thought, I have been told maybe a mid life crisis or something. Could have thrown me for a loop. It was so off gaurd. I am trying really hard to find a job, but without a car I cant get there that is scarey. Dont have much money left and if it gets repossed then what. But ty for caring
I have 2 grown boys, they help when they can. They have families to and are living ck to ck
Hey – married 20 yrs – divorced and went through and still go thru what you are talking about.
I get it.
It is a grieving process for sure and it is so painful.
You are clearly trying to talk to others who understand the pain of wanting to die. Sometimes you say die to others and they flip the fuck out. We here, seem to understand your feeling so bad and will talk to you without minimizing your pain.
DyingToHaveWorth……….The more I find that many long term marriages that are ending up in divorce makes me so sad. You are right it is a grieving process and I have to get through it. TY for understanding and all the others. What scares me the most is my financial status It is so heavy on my chest. No place to caLL home any more. I pray for strength and for a job soon, at least before they reposess my car. Everything has tumbuled on top of me and smothering me. My crazy mind is all over the place. Some reason I am being driven to my thoughts of ending it all. Last night I found a couple of videos online of actual suicides(thats how obsesed my mind is, why do i do this) I watched them over and over again for at least an hour like i was in a trance. You are right I am in so much pain over everything that surrounds me. I think i found this site last night after the video search. I think I have clicked on every thing in google regarding suicide. I know i am not the only one out there who is suffering and its a terrible place to be in. I hope you are doing better. TY for the nice reply.