okay, i don’t have the typical being bullied type of life ,though i’m weak and  expected to be this child prodigy which im certainly  not and every time i fail i’m feel like im turning in to my father i cant handle that …im not like him and i wont ever,well my friends? lol yeah they treat me like shit and i tried cutting myself but if my mother see’s my scars she wont be able to handle it i cant live like this her expectations i cant fulfill  them im a failure i cant achieve shit.
The thought of killing myself leaving this world is  better i have caused nothing but pain and humilation  tothe people surrounding me
and my mere existence doesnt affect anyone.
But im too much of a coward to do it i just cant maybe one day ill finally  get the courage to do it
2 comments
You are too young. Reset your mind, recreate yourself, love yourself, everyone else can go fuck them self
I had a mother who wanted me to be ‘perfect’ too. Whenever I was ‘myself,’ the entire family accused me of hurting her. I did try to kill myself, but failed. Yours is not an easy place to be, but you deserve the right to be you, not be valued for living up to someone else’s idea of who you should be. You have my understanding for how painful it is to feel that just being you, and not fulfilling an image your mother has of you, is failure.
To the contrary… Your mother is failing you by not appreciating you for who you are. Be yourself and find your own way to thrive!
BTW, before she died, my mother finally acknowledged her love for the real me. May you have that blessing too. Mom died when I was 59. Reconciliation can take a large part of a lifetime.
In the meantime, learn who you are and how to live up to being YOU.