…

I know you always blame my dad for everything. That he’s the reason, and the only reason, why we’re in so much pain right now. But he’s not. Someday, soon I hope, you’ll acknowledge that you caused this pain too.

Why do you have to care so much about what other people think? Why do you always push me to the sideline? Allow me to be the punchbag for your own misjudgments. I refuse to suffer all of my life because of your bad decisions. 

Your decision to give birth.

Your decision to get married.

Your decision to stay in a marriage you were unhappy in.

Your decision to place society’s view of you on a pedestal. And in turn, me.

Your decision to push me around because I was born a girl and therefore predestined to put up with all of your bs.

Your decision to argue and shout when you feel temperamental for something you could’ve controlled, every minute of my life.

I refuse. You contributed to my pain. I’d say, as it stands, 90% of the pain I feel comes from you. The hatred you make me brew for you is frightening but unlike you, I know how to control it to not hurt those around me. But you’re not like that, you hurl abuse whenever you feel like it, however unwarranted the abuse is and, I’m tired of it. I want you out of my life. You stopped caring about me a long time ago. I’m just here to help push your idealistic life together. And I refuse. 

 Y.