I looked at an old picture of myself and I feel like I was looking at someone that was deceased….I am not the same guy as in the photo….don’t think the same, don’t look the same, don’t feel the same…..nothing is the same…. I feel like that picture could have been an obituary….do you guys ever feel like that when you look at really old pictures?
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Yeah I do, seeing as really old pictures to me, are ones of me as a baby. I look at pictures like them and just think “how the fuck did I get to be frequenting a suicide site?”. I could have done something decent, had I avoided certain things. I still could do that, but I’d know that there’s going to be something missing. I feel almost as if I’ve “failed” younger me.
I usually shake my head in mortified shame at all my bad haircuts.
@noonoo12: “I feel almost as if I’ve “failed†younger me.” I feel that way sometimes too but then I wonder if I would have ended up here regardless of what I did….like sometimes they say you can’t escape your destiny but what if this is my destiny….most people like to think they have great things ahead of them….but the painful reality is that everyone is not destined for greatness….some of us were destined to be failures….
@persephone: LOL I’d love to see some of those
I definitely feel that way. Just one small alteration in my life and I would be in an entirely different position. My issue sit a degree, career, money or a place to live. My problem is my health is declining and I’m severely depressed. My health is very bad. Some things should never be taken for granted. You get one body to live your life in. Be careful what you ingest into it.
I look at really old pictures of myself and i think “Man, you are one really old ass dawg” 😛
But interestingly, i’m reminded of some really difficult times that i somehow found a way to get through, That thought is somewhat uplifting … but then i think … man, i’m too old for this shit.
weary dawg
I don’t notice that much of a difference. Appearance wise, yes, I have changed but when I look in my sad dead eyes.. and fake smile… I recognize myself instantly.
@PainNlife Not a chance, buddy. 😉 If you’d like, you guys could all come over for a bonfire where I will burn those photos, though. Bring old shit you don’t need. Tattered baby blankets. A teddy bear you’ve hugged one too many times. The shoelaces you stole from your ex’s favorite pair of Converse. That sort of thing. Let’s play with fire. 🙂
@Dawg You should listen to the song on my latest post, ‘The Weary Kind.’ You might like it. How are you, by the way? Have you gotten anything sorted out for the better in regards to your housing situation?
Just ask my wife how I fuckin got here.
But yes, I am the same way, even looking back to this past summer.
Today I was just sending someone to see my Youtube channel, my previous life, I can’t even watch my own previous videos.
They abruptly stopped when I realized I likely should be here in this world anymore.
shouldn’t
Ha ha yes. I used to be so happy when I was a little girl. I was always smiling in my pictures. Blissfully unaware of the horror that awaited me in the future lol.
Now I’m a traumatized, suicidal, train-wreck as an adult. A broken, pitiful excuse for a human being.
It actually hurts when I look at younger pictures of myself. I almost feel like I’ve betrayed that innocent and hopeful child. She wasn’t supposed to turn out this way.
(hug) 🙂
Yes, I know exactly how you feel. I, too, feel like I failed my younger self. I never stood up and tried to live my dreams and have so many regrets. At 58 yrs old, it does not get better.
There must be a reason I don’t let many pictures be taken of me (besides the fact that I hate being on film).
But when I see one of those really old pictures from elementary school… man is it rough. That kid is as good as definitely dead now. RIP bro, you didn’t even get to live. You had a short life, maybe ten/eleven years max. Maybe it was meant to be. There was nothing I could have done to stop it, I think. Sometimes you’re born into circumstances beyond your control. But still, it feels like a tremendous failure, a waste of life.
i burn them because in jealous of who i used to be and i know ill never be back there