The first time, I didn’t leave a note. I have one now that says “sorry for the mess.” I wish I had the poetic mind to write something memorable to those left behind, but I think they’ll get over it.
I never could bring myself to write a note it felt too much like preparation. Both of my suicide attempts was an escape from the constant “You can’t do this till you do that” stuff.
I thought/hoped I would get this response so Id be forced to address it. I do not have more to live for. Most of what I would say would be efforts to either mitigate or prevent some of the wondering done by survivors of suicides that cause such pain. I wish them to know how fully I have considered this and that it has been chosen as a rational option and that nothing could have been done to prevent it.
I wrote a several page long manifesto that i was still adding to when that computer crashed and it’s now lock inside that PC tile i decide to “fix” it. It basically outlined all the trash and crap that fatigues me and makes me weary and doubtful of generally society on the whole and its inability to work to work the common good. i’m very skeptical that our society will ever again care beyond individual selfishness and greed … and that is disappointing, knowing that the remaining people that do care and have compassion towards animals and fellow humans, environment and resources are fighting a losing battle. i had to make an over all wide ranging diatribe to explain my very lucid mindset but within context of everything because the individual catalysts for my pending exit are not, by themselves reasons enough for me to get to the point of following through – and people who know me know this.
in context with the general direction of the world and then adding my current and chronic issues starts to enlighten the reader of the gravity of how crushing i feel my future is – that’s not to say i can’t do it all over – but at my age, i’m getting too tired to try yet again from scratch … for me i feel it’s like the old chutes and ladders game … but for the 4th or 5th time i hit the big slide just as i was getting to the end – where “end” meant attaining a level of security and safety from living on the edge of homelessness and abject poverty.
although i’ve always been a resourceful fighter – i’m simply getting to old and too broken (physically) to keep starting over from scratch – and one has to question a societal system that makes it entirely too easy for everything to be taken and/or lost by making what should be normal and usually “safe” life decisions like marriage or home ownership
I have.
I wrote one to each of my 3 children. Letting them know I’ll always be there to guide them even though I’m not phsyically “there”. I let them know how important they were to me and that none of what has happened was their fault.
If I couldn’t see them, there would be a good explanation as to why I couldn’t.
Then I wrote a letter to my room mate stating”when you see this, sent an ambulance to the park down the road. Don’t go there just send them”
She had seen it sooner than I had expected her to (I put it on the table at 2 am and the paramedics were at the park within 15 mins after she was sleeping and I didn’t expect her to hear me leave the house)
They were able to recessitate me because it wasn’t too long after. Worst part about it, my brother was one of the paramedics on call
They were able to recesitate
I wrote one apologizing to my daughter, it had all the instructions on how to get money out of my account etc. It was more a here`s what you need to do now kinda thing.
16 comments
Yes, a draft. And no…
Yes. I don’t have it anymore but it was basically an apology for everything I had done that led me to it.
I’ve attempted before but I never bothered to write a note. There wasn’t anything to tell anyone.
The first time, I didn’t leave a note. I have one now that says “sorry for the mess.” I wish I had the poetic mind to write something memorable to those left behind, but I think they’ll get over it.
I’ve never written one before, but have been considering it recently. Suicidal literature, yes. A personal note of my own, no.
I feel compelled to write several letters/notes and leave a whole journal. Is that narcissistic or arrogant?
ive left a note saying “im sorry for the people who i did shit to i love you all”
I never could bring myself to write a note it felt too much like preparation. Both of my suicide attempts was an escape from the constant “You can’t do this till you do that” stuff.
Neither, it just means that you have more to live for than you thought.
I thought/hoped I would get this response so Id be forced to address it. I do not have more to live for. Most of what I would say would be efforts to either mitigate or prevent some of the wondering done by survivors of suicides that cause such pain. I wish them to know how fully I have considered this and that it has been chosen as a rational option and that nothing could have been done to prevent it.
http://suicideproject.org/2013/02/173697/
Just read through your note dawgmom, that’s excellent!
I wrote a several page long manifesto that i was still adding to when that computer crashed and it’s now lock inside that PC tile i decide to “fix” it. It basically outlined all the trash and crap that fatigues me and makes me weary and doubtful of generally society on the whole and its inability to work to work the common good. i’m very skeptical that our society will ever again care beyond individual selfishness and greed … and that is disappointing, knowing that the remaining people that do care and have compassion towards animals and fellow humans, environment and resources are fighting a losing battle. i had to make an over all wide ranging diatribe to explain my very lucid mindset but within context of everything because the individual catalysts for my pending exit are not, by themselves reasons enough for me to get to the point of following through – and people who know me know this.
in context with the general direction of the world and then adding my current and chronic issues starts to enlighten the reader of the gravity of how crushing i feel my future is – that’s not to say i can’t do it all over – but at my age, i’m getting too tired to try yet again from scratch … for me i feel it’s like the old chutes and ladders game … but for the 4th or 5th time i hit the big slide just as i was getting to the end – where “end” meant attaining a level of security and safety from living on the edge of homelessness and abject poverty.
although i’ve always been a resourceful fighter – i’m simply getting to old and too broken (physically) to keep starting over from scratch – and one has to question a societal system that makes it entirely too easy for everything to be taken and/or lost by making what should be normal and usually “safe” life decisions like marriage or home ownership
tired dawg
I have.
I wrote one to each of my 3 children. Letting them know I’ll always be there to guide them even though I’m not phsyically “there”. I let them know how important they were to me and that none of what has happened was their fault.
If I couldn’t see them, there would be a good explanation as to why I couldn’t.
Then I wrote a letter to my room mate stating”when you see this, sent an ambulance to the park down the road. Don’t go there just send them”
She had seen it sooner than I had expected her to (I put it on the table at 2 am and the paramedics were at the park within 15 mins after she was sleeping and I didn’t expect her to hear me leave the house)
They were able to recessitate me because it wasn’t too long after. Worst part about it, my brother was one of the paramedics on call
They were able to recesitate
I wrote one. I left it in a closet under a stuffed animal my wife gave me.
I left it there because I knew she would find it in the process of coming back to finish cleaning out the house when she abandoned me.
It didnt bother her in the least.
When she came to the hospital after learning I had attempted suicide, she told me she was just there to bring my mom coz mom doesnt drive.
Next time I’ll mail her one to her work.
By the time she gets it, it will all be over.
I wont fuck it up the next time.
I wrote one apologizing to my daughter, it had all the instructions on how to get money out of my account etc. It was more a here`s what you need to do now kinda thing.