am i the only one?

A *lot* of women do that. I’ve had times where that was probably why I was sleeping with someone too. It’s good that you recognize this probably connects to not feeling cared for/approved of by your parents, but that’s also a painful feeling to have. And society doesn’t help, by making us feel like we’re worth nothing if our parents don’t love us. If you don’t have your parents’ love/support through tough times, maybe the best thing is to think about yourself first, and how to get away from them. Even if you slept with people for the wrong reasons, it’s total BS that women get called “sluts” and men (generally) get seen as “studs.” (I mean it’s not like they sleep with girls for the “right” reasons, do they?)

That said, maybe you can find *real* love and support from friends for now. It’s corny but it’s true: you have to love yourself first, before trying to get into romantic relationships. Otherwise all sorts of things can go wrong (especially getting involved with the wrong people). If it isn’t too much, maybe even try not having any relationships for a while, as you sort things out. Easier said than done, but can you make it a personal goal not to hurt yourself for others’ sake? Instead, maybe you can get “revenge” by becoming the best person you can be, according to your own personal standards. It’s a harmless kind of revenge where you won’t actually be hurting anyone really, but you *will* be showing them just how wrong they were to think so little of you. I hope that helps.