Can you make it stop?

I don’t know if you know but depression is an evil thing. The constant darkness following you around, making you miserable. I was scared, I was scared it would kill me. And in a way it has. I walk around with my head down, with this heavy ass burden on my shoulders. I’m tired you know? Tired of feeling like I am stuck in a black hole. Tired of giving my all to get nothing in return. Tired of trying to make a relationship with my brother. He doesn’t care, he doesn’t get it. He doesn’t understand my suffering. Tired of loving someone that doesn’t love me. Someone that said they would never leave but what did you do? You left. You left me wondering why I was so fucked up. How love could be such a horrible thing? They say all these nice things to get inside your head and fuck with it. Then they leave, leave you heartbroken, My mom. I’m tired of disappointing you mama. Tired of hurting you with my pain. I’m sorry, you deserve a better daughter. I’m sorry I put you through hell with my depression. My dad. You’ve done so much to hurt me. You’ve said things, you’ve done things to hurt me on purpose but i still love you. Why? Your my father, how could I not? I’ve suffered so much watching you and mama fight all of my life, always crying and scared of what would happen. To the boys that have touched me when I didn’t want them to, fuck you. I didn’t deserve that you know? I didn’t deserve that. I’m tired of it all. I can’t be strong, i don’t know what being strong is anymore.