How is everyone on sp tonight?

im in a hotel room. ready to suck down a bottle of 90 pills. i drove across country after losing my home to my ex. my parents have been doing this yo yo shit of come stay w us and then no dont come. i got there after driving 20 hours and no one answered. they were asleep at 930.

i know what you mean.

i feel used up kicked and pissed on. i want to cut my throat or slam my car into a tree. theres not future i can bear. hey – one way to fall asleep for me. to force it.

i agree w how you feel. they all want me to go away and shut up and go invisible. the failure returns home to the affluent parents. hide me in the basement. leave no trace of me to tip off the socialite neighbors that their kid is a failure.

and they arent as affluent as they think. do gooders would save a homeless fella before their own daughter. unless I come w a free KICK ME IN THE ASS sign

I want to die. I cant figure the best quickest way to do it. I hurt enough. carbon monixide. I guess. pill it and huff.

yeah i am sleep deprived emptionally barnkrupt and shaken.

i get what you said. i do

I hear ya PDC. None of my siblings want me in their home. Two are married to $$$$$ men and the other is the one who molested me as a kid and has the kind of temper that will see me on the streets if I dont say HELLO properly.

My ex fiance and I were on ok terms – he totally has depression and we both always helped one another out w accepting one anothers feelings – he said I could stay the month of december and then back paddled after he said sure. Par the course for him. My borthers gf wont let anyone stay w him. or her. My sister died this summer so no bueno unless she has room in the sky to haunt these same MFS who did her the same way when she was dying w cancer. I miss her.

The reason i m here still is finally hit the snap in the rope.

yeah I know what you mean about the roller coaster. I have always been the hated one in my fam as the youngest. I didnt ask for it.

Thanks for talking to me. You are a sharp person. I dig it