Unlike most of you I have had a life. I have also died and it is first a white flash, then no pain, then black with no fear and quite peaceful and then nothing. That process lasts exactly 1 minute. What happens after that I have no idea that’s as far as I got. I’m not afraid of it either but I am terrified of the time up to that point. This is the only reason I am still breathing.
All my ppl are in heaven. The last one committed suicide, everyone asked why? I knew..the only thing that upset me was she beat me to the punch and I couldnt inflict the same pain on my parents in the the close years to follow but my parents are old and frankly never wanted kids so today is a different story. I have 2 ppl left that are worth anything to me and for a lifetime thats pretty depressing in itself.
I have no idea why I am here its not the first time Ive hunted a suicide site or forum nor will it be the last. My fear and concern is how and will i wake up? This is all that keeps my breathing. My 2 ppl left will be fine, they are always busy with other things so they will get through. I am in the ‘at the start of Autumn’ in my life and do not want to see ‘winter’. Christmas is the worst so I dont celebrate it. I’m tired of saying goodbye to ppl.
Please try to live before you choose to die and see if you like it. There is happiness to be found, go grab it. I have no regrets but I am sad for those who think there are no options…there are. You all have my respect.
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1 comment
A touching post.
I’m not far behind you (at this point).
Il just see how it goes over time.
Once my mom goes, I wont have any family left who gives a shit.
It will make it easier should I decide to end it, but I’ll wait it out some more and give it a fighting chance so at least I know I tried.