Want in the ocean of life.

I have a daughter…her mother taken from me..unwilling to convince myself that the intellectual ability i have in greater than the pain i go through. I feel fine for days and days..then out of nowhere…the pain that i won’t be able to be able to be the father i need to be, the liberty i should have been. The brother..son..uncle..it no longer registers that i have anyone left to help me…I’m stuck in never ending pain of failure..heartbreak..no love..nothing of the brighter side of emotions. I’m useless in life..I’ve always been a good person. But i feel the emotions giving everything they have and pushing it on me. I have no where to cry without eyes piercing in on me..no one who can catch the hints. I can’t tell them or the feelingof want becomes obsolete…no one can actually see this.. They ask have their own shit in life, they can’t see past there own problems! I’m always here to help! I’m always on the good I’ll be here for you side! I’m always the fuckin ear! I can’t find a soul on earth that can’t see past it. When i think about death being the better option, i have all kinds of plans. I’ve even thought as going as far as making a trail to find the location of where I’m at and only giving people who would actually know me the right hint to figure it out..if they didn’t i guess i would never be found. I apologize to my little girl every day fir being such a shitty person that i can’t even be seem as a good farther as far as materials go… I have nothing but to wait this out or give in…i feel I’m running out of time…. Either i will become evil..or evil will become unto me. I need a torch.