Why is my suffering

Why is my suffering, I was sexually abused at the age of ten and did not tell anyone
Four years ago, the person who caused me to spread the news of sexual assault
Then my life became a living hell
I had many friends , But they have abandoned Me
Was my last year at university , I finished my studies with great difficulty because of the racism and contempt and insults reviews
Changed people’s perceptions of me, no one walks with me no one speaks to me
Looks hate pursuing me everywhere , I’m afraid to walk in the street
My family treat me like a slave or a person disgusting , Harassed all the time from my brothers
Time eating ,Time bedtime All the time , I can not talk to them no one hears me
One of my brothers asked me to commit suicide because of this torture will not stop if i alive
I went to another city I worked in a hotel receptionist , I worked for a month, the story about me into the hotel staff
Then they forced me to submit my resignation , Imagine all kinds of insults and racism in dealing , In fact, I ran away from fear
I returned into my family , Nothing has changed, the same deal with me
Then I worked Marketing online has been extrusive work after four months for the same reason
Until now I did not get a job no one accept me because they say I am gay ,And I’m Shame on the community and my family .
I feel that my family and the people avenge me psychological torture
They enjoy my suffering , Because they did not kill me , They want I committed suicide
I tried to commit suicide more than once , But I want to die without pain
i want runawy