Worn

Thanks for your reply I’m so tired I can’t describe how I feel other than guilty I feel selfish I really want to leave each person a letter explaining why but I don’t know why or I do but if I tell everything in the letters it might make them blame themselfs and I don’t want that I just want out a sparkle of light in my darkness I guess I’m just lazy I want to be a good man but I know I’m week thank you for responding sumsum I do appreciate it how come your on here you seam so positive

I think we all have something to live for I’m just wondering if there’s a shortcut I’m over messing up doing good trying stoping I know it’s just live but why for what it sucks for me to feel this way I think if I felt down everyday of my live I could exist but I have some good things and bad things its the ups and downs that just ripps me apart I want to say I don’t have a gun in my hands but if I did I think it would be over I don’t know I’m scared he an hell my family I hate that I care I also want to say I hope your ok I have read a lot of people’s post on here and I’m not sure if they are still here I’m glad that you are I just made my user name and password I’ve never been on a site like this

Well. Failuare is a big reason. Honestly. I let my wife down we have been liveing in seperate homes for almost a year now but we have still been seeing eachother almost everyday. I have been trying to win her back this whole time but i keep screwing up. I let my anger and insucuritys. Show rather than the man she fell in love with. I emailed a massage therapists. Unfortunately. My wife thinks she is the happy ending type and i never have done that. So anyway she saw my email and confronted me. I knew i should have just told her the truth i only emailed cause i wanted a responce. I guess a voice that was outside my head. My
wife and family. Dont know how i feel inside i work work work and just the stress of pleaseing everyone. I just had enough. I cant seem to find balance. I wish my wife and family knew how this life is killing me. I need to go before i have no soul left. Im ashaimed of what im going to do. I just cant stand it anymore i wont go into details but i think just disappearing. Will be best that way. Its not forsure what happend. I think leaveing individual. Letters might be more for me. So im just going to contenue on. And just vanish when. Things blow over. That way noone will have guilt or thoughts of what really. Happened. To me.