Must we really have three posts about this on the front page? Other people have issues that they’d like people to notice too.

This sounds like a really worthwhile relationship to be investing so much time into (not). You’ve been coming here for sooo long ranting about this same person and this same failed relationship that you refuse to acknowledge needs to end. I’m only sad for you that you will never get these years back and that you can’t seem to decide that you want better for yourself than this. This must be the most amazing man in the world, I have never seen someone keep such a death grip on a relationship and avoid accepting that it is probably over, and this is coming from someone who has always had a hard time letting go of people when they tell me a relationship needs to end.

Koji makes a really good point above and this is a good thought-exercise to use in these types of situations, imagine someone you really care about being trapped in a relationship like yours and desperately trying for over a year to get their partner to forgive them and treat them better. But I fear no amount of logical analysis will ever be enough. So many things have been suggested to you each time you come and rant about this. You just refuse to let it go.

You could have spent all this time either working on your life as a single person and figuring out why you got so addicted to a lopsided or relationship, or possibly even meeting someone else who is willing to love and respect you. Instead you’ve chosen to keep living this same mistake over and over and over. I fail to see you as a victim anymore. You are doing this to yourself. On some deep psychological level you must think that you deserve to hurt like this, otherwise you would put an end to it.

You can stop this pain whenever you want. The pain of breaking up with someone and moving on eventually gets better and goes away, the pain of trying to hang on to a relationship that has been broken for a long time and trying to love someone who won’t love you equally will keep hurting over and over and over.

You don’t need to kill yourself. If you did, you’d be losing this person and this relationship anyway. All you need to do is realize that there is a life waiting for you outside of this one person who you won’t stop obsessing about. You really want to flush away your few years on this planet refusing to give up on some miserable relationship with someone who doesn’t want to treat you nicely? I’m pretty sure there’s a billion other things you could be doing for your existence on this planet. Maybe this relationship isn’t even the problem, maybe you’re clinging to it because there’s something else about life that scares you even more than being in a terrible relationship and you’re trying to stay distracted and avoid those other things by focusing on this. What scares you so badly about removing this person from your life and finding out what else might be waiting for you? Nobody likes letting someone go, we’ve all been there, but we’ve all had to deal with it and accept it.

The way you feel for this person is not healthy or normal. You need to go get some help, too much time has passed and you haven’t been able to break your habits on your own. Seek professional help about why you have such a toxic addiction to this person.