I feel very alone. I used to have a bunch of friends I could speak too, but lately i’ve pushed everyone away. I’ve found myself miserable and feeling unworthy of everything. I see my grades and think I deserve it, I smoke and think this is all I have, I see myself and I hate it. I hate my nose, I hate my flaws. I even hate my teeth. School is so hard for me, it makes my creativity levels low and makes me stressed and angry and causes me to hate myself constantly. I don’t want to be the same as everyone else though, I don’t want to just go into a good school, get a job, a family, then die. That’s not what I want. But anyways, i’m getting too deep into this. I just feel alone and i’m always angry and not up to talk that’s why. The people I used to talk to now seem annoying and needy, and it’s probably just me being uptight and not speaking. I feel awful, and everyone is leaving. I don’t blame them. I don’t even know how to treat myself right.
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3 comments
Don’t ever feel like you’re alone,we’re all right here with you. Talking is one of the best things you can do to ease all the anger, frustration, and despair you’re feeling. If you’re up for it you can talk to me. Take it from someone who knows, and cares.
mehdils@yahoo.com
You ARE deep, that could be a reason you are feeling alone. You do not have to be the same as everyone else! Embrace your uniqueness. Find the others that are like you. Listen to your gut instincts be it good or a warning. Since you recognize your own creativity, please get involved in what inspires you. Get quiet by yourself and write down things that are meaningful to you and let your conscious guide you to experiences and creative outlets that will uplift your spirit. You sound very intelligent and in touch with your feelings. Also introspective. Deep! This is GREAT! Society is focused on materialism and status and power – don’t buy into it. Be YOU. It’s so easy that way. Please YOUSELF first. In positive and enriching ways of course! Pushing people away who don’t understand is something you may work on. They may not have the answers, but if they genuinely care about you and are good listeners, maybe just talking to them will help yourself sort out what is bringing you down. Follow your creativity and just fly under the radar at school….get through it, I’m 46 and we alllllll had to get thru that and it sucks, but get a grip, be strong, love yourself AND your flaws. Cliché, but beauty really is only skin deep. If you love yourself, you will radiate beauty and the right people will feel that energy. I have confidence in you based solely on reading what you wrote and you are beautiful. I wish you the best.
wow…
Kathy found the words i’ve been looking for while rewriting my reply numerous times
i will only say this much as everything else has been said
i know how it is to be lonely, i still am
i also know how it is to be angry and hate oneself, i’ve been hurting myself in multiple ways and smashing my things to pieces
in the end it was really up to me to overcome that state and accept & forgive myself
just because this sick world makes you feel worthless sure doesn’t mean you are
..and school truly is a creativity killer