another pointless rant

Ever since I was 4 or 5 years old I remember telling my dad I was going to kill myself.  Ive always suffered from depression and started suffering from severe social anxiety probably 7 years ago.  I’m now 23 years old. I’ve never been truly happy.  It’s not about the tangible possessions that I have/don’t have, nor is it about money.  I just hate who I am as a person, I have trouble with the most simple tasks. Recently I found my gf of 3 years was cheating on me with multiple different people.  she was the only thing that really made me somewhat content and to realize everything that I did enjoy even just a little was all fake.  Everything was a lie. well, I was considering suicide even while with her. now I am pretty set on doing it.  Charcoal burning seems to be the most painless method all while leaving a clean corpse.