Some people do refuse to understand. Some of us refuse to let go. I can not tell you to stop, I can just say be safe till you can find a way to address the underlying challenge in a non self destructive way. There is a way.
That is if there is a underlying cause…BP depression seldom has a underlying challenge…it just is, no rhyme nor reason. Even with the lesser evil of SAD’s (Seasonal affective disorder)…it’s the same frustration.
For me, it’s allways been about knowing why…if I know why, then I can deal with it. Like with the HCTD. I now know why I suffer from various physical problems, so I can deal…but the BP. If I lost a gf or did something stupid at work or said something nasty to someone, I could understand why I feel depressed but for ones mind to just switch gears for no apparent reason is enough to drive you up the wall.
Seriously, I’m amazed my personality hasn’t split yet…maybe that’s why Skitzo is so closely related to BP…(And no…I’m not classified as skidzo-affective).
That’s also what makes it so agonisingly difficult to get support from people close to you…if you can’t even understand your self, how do you get your family and friends to understand. People don’t understand the concept of “it just happens”…they expect there to be a cause and go on a witch hunt stating things like “Well if you would stop doing #” or “If you did # more often you would feel better”. But there is no underlying cause. I sometimes just want to scream “Well forget about it, if it means you will stop hounding me then I’m ok with you not understanding”.
PhantomShadow, I should of clarified a bit more. This was in reference to the comment “I wonder how far I will take it, this time”. So I maybe wrongfully interpreted this as….The pain from injury brings relief or allows me to express the pain into something that is tangible. And that had me thinking, that action it’s taken in direct response to a certain trigger.
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Some people do refuse to understand. Some of us refuse to let go. I can not tell you to stop, I can just say be safe till you can find a way to address the underlying challenge in a non self destructive way. There is a way.
That is if there is a underlying cause…BP depression seldom has a underlying challenge…it just is, no rhyme nor reason. Even with the lesser evil of SAD’s (Seasonal affective disorder)…it’s the same frustration.
For me, it’s allways been about knowing why…if I know why, then I can deal with it. Like with the HCTD. I now know why I suffer from various physical problems, so I can deal…but the BP. If I lost a gf or did something stupid at work or said something nasty to someone, I could understand why I feel depressed but for ones mind to just switch gears for no apparent reason is enough to drive you up the wall.
Seriously, I’m amazed my personality hasn’t split yet…maybe that’s why Skitzo is so closely related to BP…(And no…I’m not classified as skidzo-affective).
That’s also what makes it so agonisingly difficult to get support from people close to you…if you can’t even understand your self, how do you get your family and friends to understand. People don’t understand the concept of “it just happens”…they expect there to be a cause and go on a witch hunt stating things like “Well if you would stop doing #” or “If you did # more often you would feel better”. But there is no underlying cause. I sometimes just want to scream “Well forget about it, if it means you will stop hounding me then I’m ok with you not understanding”.
PhantomShadow, I should of clarified a bit more. This was in reference to the comment “I wonder how far I will take it, this time”. So I maybe wrongfully interpreted this as….The pain from injury brings relief or allows me to express the pain into something that is tangible. And that had me thinking, that action it’s taken in direct response to a certain trigger.
True, although pain isn’t allways physical, I can see why it could be interpreted as such