My husband and I have never had a great relationship. We tear each other down and both have such low self-esteem that we stay together because (at least I believe) that no one else will have me. I have cut myself in the past, had eating disorders, rage, etc. A couple months ago we got into such a big fight that he called the police because I was threatening to kill myself, I had his hunting knife and everything. We both ended up getting charged and have both decided we will NEVER be calling the police again. Instead of helping me/us they ruined our lives further.
Anyways, things have been so bad lately and especially last night/today that I have been searching for help for hours online. I found this site and it is perfect for me, people actually seem to understand how I feel on here. My husband came in to tell me we had to get going and head out of town for the weekend. I told him the website I was on and what I was doing and he just said he didn’t want to hear about it or see it. I responded with “you don’t want to hear me out or talk to me about how I am feeling?” and his response was “I don’t want to look at shit about suicided.” Â How am I supposed to believe he gives a shit about me now? I have been in here typing and he just keeps telling me we have to get going so he can go fishing this afternoon with his brother….his priorities are always like this. He is all I have and I am 6 weeks pregnant. I have never felt more alone and feel that if I am going to end my life I need to do it soon before this baby arrives….I’m scared and no one gives a shit about me in this world.
14 comments
(((((((HUG))))))))
I’ll give you that hug first, because you certainly need and deserve that.
I’ll say it like it is……. and I know you will agree….. this man is NOT a man. First thing I caught here was he is discounting your feelings, which is in itself a really bad thing to do to someone you are with. I experienced that and know how it is (yes, my wife verbally abused me all the time). I also stayed with her coz I wanted to remain in my “comfort zone”, which I did, but it became an “I avoid you, you avoid me” life.
Now that you are pregnant, you cant end your life for sure. You will have another life to take care of, your own baby.
I see it as you really having only 2 choices…..
Stay with him, get this guy help, coz he really needs it, and he accepts responsibility for his shitty actions towards you, and changes for the better..
or…
You leave him (but I’m not for abandonment).
Its a tough call. You are in a terrible position, and really I see no truly good outcome unless the first option above happens.
I truly feel for you.
You might want to also try some family to see if they can talk some sense into your husband.
Thank you but I literally have no one to talk to, my family always takes his side because I am such a *****. Seriously thank you for writing back to me in such an understanding way
I’ll be your friend…
FLwaterguy99@gmail.com
My wife abandoned me, I also know about being neglected and abused.
So, perhaps I can offer you some help. guidance.
I’ll be your friend…
FLwaterguy99 (at) gmail (dot) com
My wife abandoned me, I also know about being neglected and abused.
So, perhaps I can offer you some help. guidance.
Reply
Well it sounds like he wants to avoid anything pertaining to suicide in general not that he just is going out of his way to harm you or not help…maybe suicide is triggering for him ….maybe the only way he can deal with it is to not speak of it…try just talking about your feelings without using the “S” word….who knows it might help…
Yeah if the police can be avoided it’s best to not call them… Police have their own agenda…it damn sure isn’t to protect and serve…it’s more like to enforce and scare…when you and your husband get into heated arguments learn how to dismantle them without police involvement unless violence is involved… If I were married I’d avoid every battle I could… Winning an argument and losing a mate is not winning at all…
Just try to talk with him again
First, decide what to do with the baby (if your gonna keep it, get rid of it…) and for that you definitely need to talk to him. From my perspective it seems like he just gets intimidated by the fact that your bringing up suicide so I’d tell him to help you out without mentioning suicide at all. I think maybe you guys can get along if you just set it out straight and even if he yells try not to on your part just to try to get somewhere. After all that then decide if your just gonna drop it all or stay. I mean if he’s stayed that long and you’ve stayed around this long you must have some mutual feelings, no?
He says he loves me but does not act like that. He does not talk about ANYTHING deeper than the weather with me. I don’t think I love him, I’ve just become dependent on him over 7 years together. My family fell about right before I met him so I think I was just looking for something/someone to cling to. I hate him but hate myself more for being that unfair to both of us. I don’t have enough self respect to leave him. I’d rather kill myself then leave him and be alone
If you’re serious about suicide….abort the child while you still can…do not bring an innocent life into the world then leave
You can give the kid up for adoption once it’s born… No need to kill it… You should see if you can get assistance somewhere. If this guy doesn’t care about you, you shouldn’t stay with him.
Dear elliemay,
You Wrote “i hate him”. those are much to strong words. Maybe you are ‘frustrated as hell with him” You may hate yourself, however in truth you are here reaching out, so that is a contrition. I would say you love yourself deep within. With a new addition to the family it is a very normal feeling to be nervous. Be easy with your words they are gold. Have patience with yourself and your man.
That’s what I was thinking. But I have almost 8 months left so if I do it before that then i don’t have to go thru that procedure
Persephone is correct ending a life is never the answer. Yours or an unborn child. Adoption is always a better route. let this life choice his/her own destiny
If you decide to stick around and have the child, please leave this relationship. I cannot tell you how hard it is being a child growing up in that kind of dysfunction. It is brutal. I know many people think staying together for the sake of the children is the right thing to do, but believe me, that is not always the case. Raising children in a house filled with arguing, fighting, disrespect, and rage can be extremely damaging to them. I am living proof. You two chose each other and continue to stay together for whatever reason, but your baby had no choice in this matter. I’m not trying to be harsh, just providing a different perspective.
“ending a life is never the answer”… Well before you start crossing off answers… You need to seriously examine the question…
At least with abortion she can guarantee no harm comes to the child…with adoption…so many things could happen to the child to make them very bitter and angry with the world…and most likely the child would blame you for bringing them into the world and then leaving them to the wolves…