I’m suicidal again.

I might cut myself in an attempt again.

I can no longer control these thoughts.

It’s eating me away.

And I’m so lonely.

Nobody to talk to or hang out with, no one to hold.

I would be missed by a couple, but in an odd way.

So I guess I shouldn’t feel too bad. My family could care less.

They approved of the thought years ago, before and after my first attempt. Who else is there, if not even my own flesh and blood cares.

My sister. Is a piece of shit. She has tried to ruin my relationship with the one person who has ever loved me for too long.

I despise her. She needs to get a greeting card from karma. She gets away with so much evil, it drives me insane.

My other sister. She cares, but she can’t help me. She’s always got a full plate.

My mom and grandmother hate me. They want me gone. But want me to stay, so I can continue to be their slave. They treat me like shit, then wonder why I am such shitty company. Just my presence, is enough to kill the mood.

Friends. I have none. I did once, years ago. But they’re gone now. I wish I were gone like my family wants. They’re all I’ve ever cared about. It’s the only reason I’m still living here. I could be gone. But I’ve stayed. It’s hard to help a bunch of assholes that treat you like shit though. I was doing a good job, but their attitude has gotten worse, so in turn mine has as well. I’m done with existence. I want to go. I

Want

To

Go.