Sometimes when I reminisce about the past I tend to not include bad memories….but that doesn’t mean I don’t remember them..growing up I had a very dysfunctional family and I’ll admit some of the things I did were deserving of punishment but sometimes you go too far …
I remember in 9th grade….me and my cousin got busted for report card fraud….yup, we were cunning little bastards. You see we came up with a scheme …a very….good scheme….we would copy the report card right? so you have 2 copies…take some scotch tape and scissors and cut out any “A’s” or “B’s” and then cover the bad grades on other copy with scotch tape…then copy it again…and look you went from a “C” to an “A” instantly….see we weren’t bad students though…I mean I wasn’t until I started skipping so I had to do something to keep her from seeing I was failing because she was so crazy about grades…and I know some of  you will say…well….why didn’t you let her help you? well because my mothers version of help was to yell at you until your ears were bleeding….so when she found out…she made us squat…..probably 4 hours or more….in a squatting position with arms extended holding books….you drop the books? …you fucked up….you got 30 more minutes….and I know you’ll say man thats not hard….dude…please….do me a favor…right now go get 5 of your typical academic hardcover books take all of them….squat with your feet shoulder length apart and then hold the books arms extended for one hour…just one….  I’m telling you no matter how strong you are that shit HURTS!!!….I had charlie horses for days after that…
Oh and then there was the time also in 9th grade where I lost my Nokia 6010 …so my friend let me borrow his…but the teacher took it from me because I took it to school like an idiot and they just so happened to do the random search that day….so then I had to wait 2 weeks to get it back….so then he asked for it back and I told him what happened and he said “okay” but he told another friend and he let that imbecile convince him that instead…no I had sold the phone and didn’t have it anymore…so then his mom got mad and told my mom but I was at another friends house until about 7:30pm that night (early time right? nope not according to my mom it was late and we had to be in at 6:30) and when I came in the house…BAM! right in the fucking face with a long wooden broom stick and I fell to the ground instantly…I thought somebody had broken into the house and set me up the way I got hit….yelling of course she said…whose shit did you steal!!! I was like man I didn’t steal nothing and then she said stop fucking lying BAM! again with the broom stick but this time it was more near my arms because I was still on the ground kind of dazed from the first hit she said you did! his mother (my “friends” mom that is) called here saying you sold his phone and I have to pay for it I’m not paying for shit! you shouldn’t be stealing shit! and then I calmly said “I didn’t steal his phone the school has it” and then I explained to her what happened and then she yelled “well you know you shouldn’t be coming in an hour late!”….”you didn’t call or leave me a note if its not one thing its another with ya’ll” and I’m thinking to myself like man…a wooden broomstick to the face for being an hour late? really!?….so then you’ll say “wow dude she only hit you twice jeesh grow a pair”… I woke up the next day after all her berating and “2 hits” and my face was swollen  my eye look like I had been hit by a MLB star and it was SWOLLEN….like not “need 911 swelling” but “Damn,you got FUCKED up but you’re okay swelling” and the next day at school I just sat in class with my head down all day with my hood on not doing anything and they gave me a day of I.S.S but there was no way anybody was going to see my face and then if they did… I had to explain to them my mom hit me like that for being an hour late…
There was one time in 11th grade..but see in order to understand my mom I have to tell you some things she did…My mom worked at a daycare and had always brought this little girl home right? and I mean she would buy that girl clothes…shoes…get her hair done….get her all nice for the holidays yup…my mom would spend it on her….get her nice for her birthday you get the idea and this girl was about  9 or 10 at the time…and we were like 15 so we (me and my cousin that lived with me at the time) would always notice how she would do that for her but make us wear the same shit until it literally broke down…so that christmas she said she was going to give us 100$ each….nope….I wanted more…I felt like she owed me more than that for making us go through that whole year looking like fucking bums all the damn time….I went to an out of uniform school and if you look like you’re a bum….you’re gonna have a bad time….so I took her debit card one night and went to the bank about 2am when I knew she was asleep and withdrew 450$ from her account but….she had 40,000$ in her savings and 1500$ in her checkings…so much for broke huh?..the next day… I went to the mall and had the best 3 hours of my life with that little 450…I bought some clothes and a new phone…and some good food…well a few days later….the gig was up her bank had called her and alerted her about “unusual activity”  at 2am a few nights ago and all hell broke loose…she was… PISSED AS SHIT!!!! yelling “wha the fuc- which one of you stole some money from my damn  account!?” asking me and my cousin and I just said I don’t know….and my cousin…I love him but he really isn’t good under pressure and I sorta did…fuck him over because I had worn his jacket and covered my face with the hood….it was one of those jackets where the hood zips all the way up… he said “I don’t know” but you could tell he was scared as shit already….so then she said okay they have you both on camera so we gone see who did it….so she let us off that night and so a few days after that….me and my cousin was fighting over something and he called the police on me… They came to my house and being the dumbass I was I let them into the house and I didn’t know he didn’t have the power to enter without a warrant to search…I ended up getting busted for it…I paid my mother back though….and even after that …..she held a grudge…. Which I can’t blame her for but still…. Anyways we ended up in a nasty vicious fight….I did not attack her first but see….I was smartmouthed so I would say little abrasive things that were true but annoying as shit to hear…and she snapped and scratched my face all the fuck up….it was so bad people was clowning me INSTANTLY as soon as I walked through the door….”Man what the fuck happened to your face!!!”…”Damnnnn!”…”Did you get jumped!? …Somebody beat your ass!!” ….”did you get hit in the face with a bottle?”…Nope but I sure as hell lied and told people that’s what happened…I was fighting some guy and he was losing and he hit me with a broken bottle…people believed it because if you saw my face….you could have believed my story….
All in all…if I sat here and recounted every event of abuse we’d be here for days…I spent nights in group homes for runways because she would kick me out when she was angry….Now if you want to talk about cognitive dissonance…my mom was the perfect example …she always talked about how we should never get a criminal record…but….the police was always mainly called by her when she got angry….so I’m like okay…you want us to “not have a criminal record”….yet you call the police whenever you get mad?…it wasn’t like I came in the house with a gun…or was trying to murder her…she usually called them after I one upped her in an argument….and said something she disliked…
I remember going to sleep with my legs bleeding from some of the ass kickings I got…living with this irrational woman was so fucking hard…she was the ultimate hypocrite…she was “bass ackwards”… She would tell us to do shit like clean our room and hers looked like hurricane Katrina went through there….she was one of those “do as I say not as I do”…types of parent…that was her bullshit logic…
I remember my mom would CONSTANTLY talk about how she wanted a girl…all the fucking time…and this was before my sister was here..After my sister was born? Things were okay until a few years after that… I know my sister is my mothers favorite child but I don’t care…. I have no ill feelings towards my little sister in fact I love her very much…she is 10 now and still in that innocent phase…
Even with all this though….it is very preferable to the current state I’m in…but I know it wasn’t exactly the best set of circumstances…