I feel really lost right now. It seems that whenever I start to believe I can get better things take a turn for the worst and I end up back where I started. I thought that maybe I just wasn’t trying hard enough and that I was just being pathetic. I am constantly around happy people, that can actually enjoy life, that can laugh and smile, so if they could do it why couldn’t I? I thought that maybe getting out more and picking up some new hobbies would help me find some purpose in life, and surprisingly it did help. But it didn’t last; no matter what I did I still found myself feeling empty, distant, and miserable. I’ve been hanging to a small amount of hope that maybe with time I could become happy. I tried to convince myself that it would all get better eventually, but now I am not sure. I just can’t imagine myself living any longer. I remember being younger and wanting to “change the world” and make a difference. But those dreams are lost now, I have no voice. I just don’t matter. I’m not going to end my life right at this instant, but I know ill be gone soon. So I wish all of you the peace and happiness that I could not find, thank you for caring to read this. It means a great deal to me.
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4 comments
I sounds to me like you just need to find the source of your feelings,,,,,, it would likely require some meds.
Its good you posted here, we all support you.
You are cared for here, but I would also seek the help of a psychiatrist.
Oh…. I so know how you feel.
What’s the purpose of it all? The hobbies and interests start out well and with good intent, but then you eventually realize none of it has meaning. It’s like it all is just a way to pass the time. None of it fucking matters though.
Oh…. I so know how you feel.
The feeling is mutual.. every minute to every hour to every day. And now it’s a new year, but itll have the same minutes, hours, days. “I have no voice.” Hits the spot… I wonder how we get huh
I relate to what you feel… used to have several dreams and lost them along the way either through bad choices or just circumstances that i couldn’t control. Hobbies do help but just to kill time… if you can turn them into something you need to do periodically they can help a huge deal, but that is rare… what you can do is change the little bit of world you have around you.
Sounds like you still have hope, so i really wish you the best, and hope you find something that makes you happy (or helps you to get there, at least).