There’s no such thing as love; what we refer to as love is usually just pain, deceit, lies, broken promises and false hope.
No matter how many times you think you find love, you haven’t, because love doesn’t exist. People are all the same, always have been always will be. So don’t make the mistake of thinking you love someone, it’s just desperation of the soul needing something to cling onto.
What do you do though, when you’re weaker than desperate? When you can’t even kill yourself, when you can’t even achieve the easiest thing possible for man to do? You want to play God, you want control over your own life… your own death, but it’s impossible?
That’s where I am, I’ve come to the realisation of what love is, and also of how weak I am.
So I’m sat here, sat here with the pills in my hand. I know what it’ll be like; painful, slow… I know the risks. I know that, if I fail at trying, then I’ll most likely end up more fucked up than I am… But that’s not what’s stopping me, what’s stopping me is myself… The fact I’m too weak.
So if you’re too weak to kill yourself, what do you do? What can you do?…
Nothing… because you’re a coward.
2 comments
I felt the same way when I’ve tried to kill myself various times. I managed to get myself to a certain point but when it came to making that final move, I couldn’t. I don’t know you but I don’t think it makes you weak. I can’t say what it means when we can’t just end it all. That being said I do hope things will be better for you someday.
Emlar,
love is a word, and has a different meaning to every single person, it’s not a bad word, it’s just a word, people give all kinds of super definitions of what love is, most are bigger than life! really to me it means you care about something, but how much? one of my favorite sayings is, I love you I just don’t love you that much 🙂 anyways it’s better to not to think it’s bigger than it really is.
your not a coward you are just not ready to end it, although you think you are.