Doing better. Doing worse. If this goes on any longer, I don’t know what I’ll be capable of. Trying to be strong. My mind is breaking down. Snapping. The pressure, no release valve. I can’t shut it off. I made this decision. Made it for good reasons. I have tried to overcome myself and can once again feel myself slipping. everything crushing in so tight. can’t see anything. I can feel my mind falling away. My testament, my great push to become better, falling into another facade, another lie. I keep trying. trying to be strong. how long will it last. So strong, rigid, it snaps under the pressure of the wind. What am I doing? I cannot concentrate, cannot think, cannot feel. everything a narrow gyre downwards. silent, silent, don’t say anything. I want to defeat this. I need…