Unfortunately the people who hurt us are never the type to be awake in the middle of the night being “hit harder and harder” by all the ways they hurt us. They don’t care. If they did, they wouldn’t have behaved that way in the first place. If they are capable of being mean and hurtful, they are capable of sleeping at night without feeling any remorse for it too. Just another painful part of letting go, having to let go of the fantasy that they are hopefully sitting around feeling bad about what they did to us. Sadly, they aren’t.

Not sure exactly what is happening since you have always liked to write in that abstract way where it’s hard to know exactly what the situation is. If I had to guess from your last couple of posts it sounds like he has asked to stop talking completely. You might think nobody on this planet has ever hurt like you are hurting but many have. I know that combination of pain and panic when it starts to seem final and real, when the person is finally saying they want you to go away for good and to never bother them again. It makes you feel like you want to get in your car and keep your foot pressed down on the gas until you find the edge of the world and are able to drive off of it because you don’t know where else to go. Nothing feels safe anymore. This world looks a lot different when you’re in the middle of heartbreak, doesn’t it? Nothing looks familiar. It feels like you woke up on some strange nightmare planet that is trying to disguise itself as Earth but just doesn’t look right.

I know what it’s like to feel like someone stole your life from you. All the common advice tells us that it’s our fault for ever loving someone that way in the first place, that you’re never supposed to make your life all about someone else so that they have the ability to take it all away from you. But from all the people I’ve seen experience heart break, there are an awful lot of hopeless romantics out there who don’t know any other way to love someone than to believe they are the most important thing in the world. And I know how badly it hurts to try to interact with the rest of this world and be in relationships with these people who don’t think of it that way and who can hurt people easily and walk away without a second thought. Some of us just can’t help loving like we need it to live.

Maybe he is insane. Maybe he’s not. Maybe you’re both just two human beings with flaws like we all have. You just have to try to decide to stop letting yourself get hurt rather than begging for him to stop hurting you. Don’t fantasize that he is sitting around feeling bad about how he hurt you. That’s just you imagining him being a more caring person than what the reality shows. Believe in the reality, believe that he probably doesn’t feel bad otherwise he wouldn’t be doing this. Human beings are naturally selfish and if he was experiencing something that was making him feel bad for doing it, he would want it to stop just as much as you do. Chances are he isn’t feeling bad. Think of him that way instead of picturing him upset and feeling bad for you. Remember that he doesn’t. The version of him that you love doesn’t exist. Only this person who is okay with hurting you and letting you go. You aren’t in love with anything real.