My story

I stumbled on this site quite by accident. It sadness me reading some of your posts so young to have to feel these things. Don’t get me wrong I know they are valid I was once told “what’s the worst problem you have breaking up with your boyfriend? ” which is a stupid thing to say because yes it is traumatic.

I ‘m 30+ with an amazing 3yr old and exhausting 4yr old who have opened my eyes to a love I never knew could exist.

as I’ve grown I have learnt myself like most did not have an ideal childhood I was 12 when I started self harming ( I still do to a less extent I might dig my nail into my thumb now) 15 I started overdosing and it continued when I was in my 20s I thought I’ve got no reason to live I’ll be dead by next year.  Quit my job in agency ( I was able to work when I could ) and back packed around America by myself. Bear in mind yes there was email and phone but it was expensive to use and no social media ( my phone didn’t even have a camera ) so it got lonely. It’s amazing how lonely you can get with so many people around you. However it did force me to look at my life and make me realise I didn’t want to die, it wasn’t even a cry for help. I just wanted to go into a coma cause I guess in my mind I thought I wouldn’t have to deal with my life, feeling etc I’d wake in the future and it would all be sorted.

I guess what I’m trying in a long winded way to say is there is hope, don’t get me wrong my life is far from being rosy and I still have days when I think a coma would provide me with rest and clarity. I’d never do it! I would rather take all the pain and suffering in the world rather than leave my little ones.

So please if your thinking of ending it don’t because there is always hope, reach out to someone and keep the negative people as far away as possible.

if you read this to the end thanks x