Constantly thinking about killing yourself can be very oppressive. Not only that, the more you do, the easier it is to think about it and it just turns into a slippery slope and seems like getting back to the point you don’t think about it and don’t want to again is impossible. It’s not impossible though. I binged on it. I ate drank and slept suicide stories and facts and statistics for every method conceivable for just over two months. And for months before that I was already having constant and continual thoughts of suicide. At the end of the two or so months was when I was going to kill u self but didn’t. Don’t know why I didn’t, still don’t have a solid reason, but I’m still here. Getting back to the point that every other thought wasn’t about how I could kill myself and how I wanted to wasn’t easy. And it took some time. Our thought patterns can be trained instinctively just as typing can be trained in. I can’t say that I don’t ever think about how I can or want to, but it’s not every waken moment finally. And there is nothing wrong with crying. I cry if I need to. I may not even know why. I will curl up and cry if the emotional pain or whatever it is gets to heavy for me. I will never admit that in public lol or in person to someone, but it’s true. I hope things ease off for you a little. If you hang in there and try to make them, they will.
Don’t be afraid to admit to the right people how you are feeling. And dare.dope is right, certain medications can help with the whole thought retraining process. Perhaps that is what assisted me, I don’t really know. I personally didn’t stay on medications long. I didn’t like the side effects. I’m a very attentive person usually, detailed, and remember things to the T. On the medications……I was having problems remembering anything from 5 mins ago lol. But that could have kick started the process of me not constantly and consitsantly focusing on suicide. Nothing like this changes over night. It’s a development thing. Or redevelopment of you will. Be easy on yourself. And be forgiving. With a lil effort and some time you can reverse your thought process. This will not resolve whatever issues or the situation that originally led you to continually think about suicide though, so be prepared to find new ways of dealing with those things as well. There is hope. And people can help, so open up and don’t be ashamed.
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Constantly thinking about killing yourself can be very oppressive. Not only that, the more you do, the easier it is to think about it and it just turns into a slippery slope and seems like getting back to the point you don’t think about it and don’t want to again is impossible. It’s not impossible though. I binged on it. I ate drank and slept suicide stories and facts and statistics for every method conceivable for just over two months. And for months before that I was already having constant and continual thoughts of suicide. At the end of the two or so months was when I was going to kill u self but didn’t. Don’t know why I didn’t, still don’t have a solid reason, but I’m still here. Getting back to the point that every other thought wasn’t about how I could kill myself and how I wanted to wasn’t easy. And it took some time. Our thought patterns can be trained instinctively just as typing can be trained in. I can’t say that I don’t ever think about how I can or want to, but it’s not every waken moment finally. And there is nothing wrong with crying. I cry if I need to. I may not even know why. I will curl up and cry if the emotional pain or whatever it is gets to heavy for me. I will never admit that in public lol or in person to someone, but it’s true. I hope things ease off for you a little. If you hang in there and try to make them, they will.
Thank you. But I don’t get how I’m supposed to not think of killing myself all the time.
The way you stop thinking about one thing is by finding something else to think about.
Plus psych drugs. SSRIs are really good at breaking those kinds habits.
I know I should go on some type of drug, but I don’t want to admit to other people how I’m feeling.
Don’t be afraid to admit to the right people how you are feeling. And dare.dope is right, certain medications can help with the whole thought retraining process. Perhaps that is what assisted me, I don’t really know. I personally didn’t stay on medications long. I didn’t like the side effects. I’m a very attentive person usually, detailed, and remember things to the T. On the medications……I was having problems remembering anything from 5 mins ago lol. But that could have kick started the process of me not constantly and consitsantly focusing on suicide. Nothing like this changes over night. It’s a development thing. Or redevelopment of you will. Be easy on yourself. And be forgiving. With a lil effort and some time you can reverse your thought process. This will not resolve whatever issues or the situation that originally led you to continually think about suicide though, so be prepared to find new ways of dealing with those things as well. There is hope. And people can help, so open up and don’t be ashamed.