have your emotions been so painful all you can do is just stare, like at a wall or just the table you are sitting at? Thats just what i do most of the time..
It can be painful, like an elephant on my chest. I can’t breathe. The pain takes over my whole body and I would do anything at that point to make it stop.
Depending on how bad it is I can get physically sick.
Mine is more so a long-term feeling of nothingness. I’m not sure i’m depressed, I don’t feel sadness, I don’t cry, etc. I just exist, that’s all there is to it.
I’m the same. I can’t feel anything. I used to know I was depressed and I would be sad constantly and cry all the time. Now I am emotionless. I don’t think my depression is gone, but rather I’ve become numb to it. That doesn’t mean I’m happy now. I am just nothing.
I feel like curling up in a corner. I want to cry but I would only end up staring into nothingness, feeling hopeless, lonely and lost, feeling trapped and wishing you could just fade away.
For me being suicidal is not so much about being depressed as about feeling numb. I feel disconnected from the world and don’t seem to be able to reach it. I don’t see I have anything left to do here anymore, feels like death is calling…
I feel empty. It drains me of all my energy. Everything just moves slow. Smiling becomes a great effort. I dont even feel like getting out of bed or being around people.
But, the suicidal-ness is there even when I dont feel depressed. Im not suicidal because of the depression. I just dont want to live anymore.
I just basically am not interested in life anymore. I really don’t have it that bad. But I don’t want to continue. I feel like I am just living life to go through the motions most of the time but just really not interested in life anymore. I would really like to just do a few fun things then go to sleep and never wake up again.
There are points where im just fine but there are other points where i feel like there’s pain flaring up in my emotions and i can feel nothing but all my regrets and my losses. At some times i just feel nothing.
It is the presence of pain and absence of pleasure. I cannot feel joy, happiness, etc. (although I can feel physical pleasure, laugh at something funny, and feel love). Mine is worse in the mornings, although my sleep meds have reduced the severity of that. I don’t really feel sad. I guess it is best described as melancholic depression with limited anhedonia. Oddly enough, while the word melancholia refers to sadness, melancholic depression usually does not present as sadness.
My suicidality is inversely proportional to my depression. When I am in a better mood my desire to die increases. Many doctors would say that’s because I have more energy, but I believe that it is more because I can see the beauty of the act. When I’m really depressed I can’t see the beauty in anything.
I have never experienced mania, hypomania, or psychosis (although I did once have a psychiatrist claim that any time a depressed person is in a good mood, that automatically qualifies as mania. What an idiot!).
I really hate the fact that I am the poster child for the very things that I try to fight against, and that is psychiatry pathologizing behaviors and disease mongering, and politicians using these lies to establish sanctioned discrimination against millions of people.
I feel like my body is on fire…. but my soul is numb. I feel like I cannot connect with anyone, but I can connect with anyone. I am high but exhausted, and I am angry and happy. I am me, and I have no idea who I am, or could ever be. I am lost
Most of the time I have general disinterest in everything and then I feel upset at myself for not being interested. I could sleep all day if there is no one around. I hate going to work and I hate coming home. I want time to slow down and I want it to speed up. Just a few.
here is mine, constant suicidal thoughts since 13 + insomnia and tiredness + only feeling of sadness /hatred/emptiness to 19 year old …. calmed down 2 years later with a beginning of memory trouble and focusing trouble …………since 22 to now 24 , brain began to”rot ” and now is “fried”, constant suicidal thoughts, extreme tiredness , no feelings , can’t focus , learn or pay attention to anything , thinking deeply is impossible + almost constantly depressed + physical performance more than halved….can’t enjoy anything anymore .
taking AD for now 3 month and half with no effect and thinking of either trying ETC or hanging myself since living like this is worse than death , never knew “happiness” and now my brain is utterly useless , fuck severe depression ……..
17 comments
have your emotions been so painful all you can do is just stare, like at a wall or just the table you are sitting at? Thats just what i do most of the time..
Yeah, I get that a lot actually. Especially since I also have insomnia.
It can be painful, like an elephant on my chest. I can’t breathe. The pain takes over my whole body and I would do anything at that point to make it stop.
Depending on how bad it is I can get physically sick.
Mine is more so a long-term feeling of nothingness. I’m not sure i’m depressed, I don’t feel sadness, I don’t cry, etc. I just exist, that’s all there is to it.
wow that is really rough. I feel for you. I used to have it that bad.
I’m the same. I can’t feel anything. I used to know I was depressed and I would be sad constantly and cry all the time. Now I am emotionless. I don’t think my depression is gone, but rather I’ve become numb to it. That doesn’t mean I’m happy now. I am just nothing.
I feel like curling up in a corner. I want to cry but I would only end up staring into nothingness, feeling hopeless, lonely and lost, feeling trapped and wishing you could just fade away.
For me being suicidal is not so much about being depressed as about feeling numb. I feel disconnected from the world and don’t seem to be able to reach it. I don’t see I have anything left to do here anymore, feels like death is calling…
I feel empty. It drains me of all my energy. Everything just moves slow. Smiling becomes a great effort. I dont even feel like getting out of bed or being around people.
But, the suicidal-ness is there even when I dont feel depressed. Im not suicidal because of the depression. I just dont want to live anymore.
I just basically am not interested in life anymore. I really don’t have it that bad. But I don’t want to continue. I feel like I am just living life to go through the motions most of the time but just really not interested in life anymore. I would really like to just do a few fun things then go to sleep and never wake up again.
O fall off a cliff and all I can feel is my heart leaving my body and I just fall and fall and fall. Then nothing.
There are points where im just fine but there are other points where i feel like there’s pain flaring up in my emotions and i can feel nothing but all my regrets and my losses. At some times i just feel nothing.
It is the presence of pain and absence of pleasure. I cannot feel joy, happiness, etc. (although I can feel physical pleasure, laugh at something funny, and feel love). Mine is worse in the mornings, although my sleep meds have reduced the severity of that. I don’t really feel sad. I guess it is best described as melancholic depression with limited anhedonia. Oddly enough, while the word melancholia refers to sadness, melancholic depression usually does not present as sadness.
My suicidality is inversely proportional to my depression. When I am in a better mood my desire to die increases. Many doctors would say that’s because I have more energy, but I believe that it is more because I can see the beauty of the act. When I’m really depressed I can’t see the beauty in anything.
I have never experienced mania, hypomania, or psychosis (although I did once have a psychiatrist claim that any time a depressed person is in a good mood, that automatically qualifies as mania. What an idiot!).
I really hate the fact that I am the poster child for the very things that I try to fight against, and that is psychiatry pathologizing behaviors and disease mongering, and politicians using these lies to establish sanctioned discrimination against millions of people.
I feel like my body is on fire…. but my soul is numb. I feel like I cannot connect with anyone, but I can connect with anyone. I am high but exhausted, and I am angry and happy. I am me, and I have no idea who I am, or could ever be. I am lost
I feel like I’m going to lose my mind. Heart rate so high up, can barely walk or talk.
Most of the time I have general disinterest in everything and then I feel upset at myself for not being interested. I could sleep all day if there is no one around. I hate going to work and I hate coming home. I want time to slow down and I want it to speed up. Just a few.
here is mine, constant suicidal thoughts since 13 + insomnia and tiredness + only feeling of sadness /hatred/emptiness to 19 year old …. calmed down 2 years later with a beginning of memory trouble and focusing trouble …………since 22 to now 24 , brain began to”rot ” and now is “fried”, constant suicidal thoughts, extreme tiredness , no feelings , can’t focus , learn or pay attention to anything , thinking deeply is impossible + almost constantly depressed + physical performance more than halved….can’t enjoy anything anymore .
taking AD for now 3 month and half with no effect and thinking of either trying ETC or hanging myself since living like this is worse than death , never knew “happiness” and now my brain is utterly useless , fuck severe depression ……..