I’ve been dwelling on different scenarios that could put me in the hospital. I know like between 50-75 people that would probably come see me, but there’s one person whose presence would mean the most to me. I’d want him there to hold my hand, talk to me, stay with me through it all, and if I were dying I’d want him holding me. I’d want him there so I could tell him how much I love him.
I’ve been in love with him for over a year, I honestly thought I’d be over it by now. He kinda knew that I liked him before, I think he thinks that I’m over it now. I want him to know he’s meant more to me than any guy has in a long time. If things were only slightly different, if we had just a few more specific things in common, then he would be mine. All mine. I’d probably end up marrying him. But no. He doesn’t feel the same about me. Actually, I have no idea how he feels about me. But I know that we can’t end up together, so I have to go and try again. Try to get lightning to strike in the same place again. This happens whenever I’m struggling to be happy, I look for someone who can create that euphoric balance of chemicals in my brain we call love. I have yet to find out if it’s even worth the struggle.
in the meantime, I love you, Jake. I love you.
2 comments
This got me right in my feels (sorry to hijack your thread for a sec) but this post is a wake up call for me cause my name is Jake and this just perfectly describes how I feel for a certain girl I really hope your case turns out differently than mine did please don’t act on any of those scenarios though no matter what putting yourself in the hospital wouldn’t be worth it
Jake sounds like a pretty cool guy, especially if he works at statefarm! 😛 Dad jokes aside, I’ve been in a similar situation. It was horrible :/ We actually ended up going out and found out she was uh.. lets just say not a good person. At this point I don’t think I want to fall in love again, it gets too shady. Sorry for the rambling, I really hope it works out for you better than it did for me! without you going to the hospital of course.