As of late i cannot turn back, the path has been layed out. I just wish my final moments would not be so contradictory. I cannot stop laughing and crying. It feels good to cry but the pain inside never subsides. It’s been so long since i cried. Although the sensation of uncontrollable laughter at the thought of all the dispare is odd enough.
share your suicide story
Report Post
Please log in to report posts
3 comments
Hey robert. i just want to bro-hug you right now and ease at least some of what you got going off inside of you.
Whatever you decide on, my friend (I read your earlier topic)…please know you are NOT responsible for your mums toxic and dysfunctional behaviour towards you. Everything that happens to you when you’re a child/teenager affects you in later life one way or the other. If you build a wall and the first seven or eight rows have some bricks missing…shit cement between bricks…then the foundations are fucked, right? You give that wall a gentle nudge when its finished ( adulthood ) then watch it gravitate to the ground.
These bastards send us out into adulthood in absolute ruins. Your mum is a classic malignant narcissist who hoped you would react the way you did when you retaliated years before. It was hoped you would take some kind of action so she could then not only play the victim but also have you arrested and charged. The sperm donor who held all the ace cards when i was growing up tried every trick in the book to get me to do the same as your mum did to you.
We have so much in common, brother.
You were in a fog, Rob. You still are! You’re a good hearted man.
Google ‘John Prine – Some Humans Ain’t Human’ So much truth in that song. We had a non-empath right in the very heart of our lives when we were at our most vulnerable and impressionable…at a time when we so badly needed security, love, safety. Instead we got these terminator type droids out for our destruction…their own flesh and blood. hahaha, now i’m laughing uncontrollably.
Thank you for your words. I wouldnt describe it as a fog though. Its never really been clearer. My morher is nowhere near how she was but they’re all so toxic. I have no one else. No one to help me in my life. I can say that i feel nothing but bad when i look at every part of my life. Always feeling as though it was my fault. Even today feeling as though i am a burden or a parasyte.