It will just come randomly. These sad empty feelings. I’ll be fine and the next second I’m crying and wanting to end it all again. I’m on medication but it doesn’t help me I still feel this way. It runs in my family and I will always have this nothing can be done about it. I’m going to suffer forever until I decided to kill myself. Which I know it’s only a matter of time.
Whenever I write on here I go to one subject to the next. I don’t know why, maybe it’s because of my ADD. I’m not sure but it’s very annoying, I’m all over the place just like my life.
Just once I want to be loved by a guy. It hasn’t happened yet. No one finds me attractive enough to want me. No one knows how much I want a boyfriend. Someone to love me and only me. Someone who I can go places with. Just someone. That’s the only thing I’ve ever asked for. I continue to ask for the same thing. That’s what I wish for on a shooting star. My worst fear is ending up alone. It scares me because when I worry about something in the future it comes true. I just can’t do this anymore. I hate my life! All the shit I go threw everyday. So much fucked up shit, why am I here. There’s no purpose for me. Why am I so stubborn to stay here? I will never get a answer on why I am here. My whole wish is to have a husband and kids. That’s all I want I don’t need money. I don’t need anything else. It’s not selfish to ask for that simple thing. I know it won’t happen to me.
1 comment
I think that being all over the place is just a part of this. A lot of us just keep things inside and then we come here and use our posts as our outlets and we just rant. It is okay. Most if not all of us have done it. It is perfectly okay.
And I know the feeling of just wanting someone. Just someone to be there with you and just to do stupid stuff with. To have someone take your mind off yourself for even a second. You are not alone in that yearning for love. You are not alone in any of it. So keep your head up just a bit longer and by all means keep ranting and being all over the place as long as you want. It might bring you a bit of relief for a moment.