So… Im alive sadly. But I’m going to treatment on monday and I think I’m just gonna give up. I’m gonna lay in bed and not do anything. I’ll see what they do, I wonder. I wonder what will happen. No matter what they do I have nothing to live for. They can’t threaten anything if I have nothing to be threatened with. Idk I’m curious. well thats my rant thing today.
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3 comments
Wow, I remember reading your last post, and I thought you had definitely died. I can’t decide if I’m glad or sorry that I was wrong. You’ve really been through the wringer, haven’t you?
Personally, I support this decision of yours. Honesty is the best policy. This is better than hiding how you’re feeling and silently getting worse and worse, letting things fester inside yourself.
A good therapist can help you free yourself from the parts of life that are holding you back from wanting to live. I wish you all good.
Vedura
I read your post- I don’t know what happened to you to make you feel this way, if it’s just the voices or other things too- and to be clear when I say “just” I am not diminishing that, that is a valid reason as much as any, I am just wondering about you, your situation and where you are now, 3 months later.
I hope you’re ok- and I don’t necessarily mean alive- I mean that you aren’t suffering, whatever realm that happens to be in.
I think it is good you took the time and love to be kind to those around you even as you suffered so much; to write letters and prepare gift/s for JA. To spend time like that, thinking of others, as you fight the pain to do so- you deserve peace wherever you find it.