Meds did really helped me alleviate my situation. I didn’t cry every night anymore. I’m capable of thinking about good thoughts now. I’m not that much of a suicidal or homicidal anymore. It’s like I’m seeing a ray of hope from my situation. But… I’m worried. What if they’re just false hopes? What if in the end… everything will come back to me full blown? And what’s worse… I’ll be taking meds for the rest of my life… just to become normal.
NORMAL? Normal is mundane… boring…
I’d never wished to be normal… I just wished to be different… to be mad, insane, peculiar… without the depression… or rather… the bipolar 2.
*I’m scared… very scared.*
3 comments
The problem with meds is that they change your personality from outside. You keep yourself deep inside but gagged and tied.
It’s a battle. By the time meds win and you forget who you really are and become artificially happy and full of plans and projects.
Then when u think you are forever cured meds stop working and you become yourself again: dark depressive suicidal…lovely. :/
At this point you have to decide if you will take meds again or assume who you really are.
I need meds again but I refuse to become a happy fool again and then the most miserable person *again*. Without meds I am just a porridge but I am me!
When I was on meds they did not do this? They actually helped and I became motivated and successful. I never felt a fake thing. But I stopped taing them for some reason and now I’m fucked. They don’t work now?
It’s not false hopes, the meds do not give you feelings, they are meant to help you think more clearly. Whatever you feel belongs to you