Well, how should you even start? My name is Oskar and i don’t want to tell my age because of private reasons of course, and’ve been having suicidal thoughts since like six to seven years back, mostly by getting bullied at my school. I havn’t told anyone of my suicidal thoughts exept for the curator at my school like a year ago. The thoughts are mostly of me getting bullied and getting screamed at by my dad when he gets angry on me. I don’t do my chores because of the thoughts and i mostly just cry in my room or in the bathroom at my school and just push others away… To some of my small friends that i dont even call my friends mostly just annoy me when they speak mean words to me like “You’re a fag for watching My Little Pony you freak!” because i do and that is one of the main things why i get bullied, buti can defend myself from fights because i am pretty large and i can take anyone down if i want to. My dad thinks im just too stupid and just yells at me like im some sort of dummy, and dont get me started at friends, i basically dont have any friends exept for like one girl that i love but she doesnt love me, well she used to love me like a month ago but when i told her aboutmy suicidal thoughts she kinda has stayed away from me the last month and i dont even know what i did wrong, i have done nothing wrong to even deserve this pain at all! The only friends i have is my friends online and they are the ones that i can truly talk to if im sador just depresed, example is one of my friends online when i just called him online on skype late one night becaue my dad had yelled at me he did comfort me and he knows how i fell because he has deep depresion and suicidal thoughts to. But the whole point of this post is just that i cant even take it anymore. Im getting bullied, dont have any friends and this is maybe the last thing i will ever write… Godbye for next time and hopefully ill go to heaven and not hell…
This was a note from a 13 year old boy
2 comments
So I guess this advice is only applicable if you, the poster, and the 13 year old boy are the same person. That caveat at the end makes it a bit confusing. Either way, here’s the advice anyway.
Sorry to hear about the bullying, and the overall situation. I assure you that this will change when you’re done with school. Bullying is one of those weird things that exist, almost solely, in the microcosm of school. Also, keep in mind that school forms only an, extremely, small part of your life. On the subject of the girl, you shouldn’t worry too much. Try to see it from her point of view. Suicide isn’t exactly the easiest of topics, and for an everyday 13 year old it’s far too much to handle. Furthermore, to be honest, love is a thing that should be the farthest from a 13 year old’s mind as possible. At that age, one doesn’t even have a clear identity of oneself, let alone form a meaningful connection with another. Focus on doing as good as you can in school, and just grind through it. Maybe along the way reach out to people that you can form a friendship with, a real friendship. It seems that your current friends are clearly not, truly, friends with you, as it seems you know. I would, also, advise that you seek support and help, professional or otherwise. Talk to the school counselor, or a teacher. Life has still so much to offer.
Hello
The reply of Sad Potato was very good written so take his advice to the letter. I therefore will write other aspects:
First of all bullying is penalized today and allowing it is sufficient cause for the principal, teacher or any superior or school to be prosecuted if things end up in tragedy. It is their obligation to take strict actions to stop it and expel the bullies from school with a record of their actions for other schools.
You should write a letter, and you send one copy to the Principal, another to the counselor, another to the Police.
The letter goes like this, my name is … I am X years old etc I am being subject to psychological harassment, it is upsetting my life, I get no support neither from my family nor from the school. I am having suicidal thoughts as I feel I can’t cope with it. The names of the individuals harassing me are X, Z, S, D etc etc. In the letter let them know you are sending a copy to the police for whatever the consequences can be. You can bet that the staff at school are going to shit down their pants at the consequences. They would really be held accountable if it is proven that they were warned and did nothing about it if a tragedy happens.
At the age of 13 one is terribly vulnerable because it depends on the parents for feeding and housing. I have a blind hatred towards those parents who mistreat their children. They are truly evil, there is nothing more cruel than abusing someone who can’t defend himself.
When I was your age I was also bullied, actually since the age of 11 until 17 every single day until I left school. The reason. My parents were the only couple divorced in my country back in the 70s. So everybody pointed at me and called me names etc. However, I had another personality. I never cared. I was happy being on my own. I never needed friends nor did I have them. I have been a loner basically all my life, probably because of being the child of a broken family when nobody else was. I was really the only one in a country of 40 million people.
So, while you don’t have to be like me, you could learn from that that actually most people are not worth to hang out with. With regards to the girl you liked, man, she is 13. If you tell her such a thing that you are having suicidal thoughts that completely cracks it. You can’t throw such things to a girl, let a lone to a 13 year old girl. She doesn’t know how to handle that. Besides, a man does not moan to girls. It is not his role. The role of a man is to be a man, that is, to protect women, not just physically but also emotionally. Women are very fragile and mentally unstable. You win them by playing positively with emotions, dancing, having fun, etc optimistic and cheerful character, that is what they like and men who are sure of themselves, know what they want etc. Of course, you are 13, I understand that, but just to let you know.
So, hang out or communicate ONLY with people who are good. Avoid the bastards and assholes, you dont need that crap. You must understand that those bullies have psychological problems themselves, and I can guarantee they are going to have a hell of a life once they get to be adults. If any of them physically abuses you, well, dont allow that. I dont mean you break them in two but dont let them beat you at all. They will surely get the message.