No Self-Esteem

I’m not sure if it matters or not, but I have no self-esteem. I’m not suicidal today in the depressed way. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t care if this is my last day. I truly have nothing to live for, in my opinion.

Whether from all the abuse I took or my own reaction to it or whatever I have just decided that I am worthless and have no value other than a pretense. I still shower and shave and make my bed and cook breakfast and clean up and do what I’m supposed to do, but I have no sense of ‘loving yourself’ like Whitney used to sing. Didn’t she die of crack?

Well, I just thought I’d put it out that there that I’m operating on no self-esteem or self-worth. Am I committed to that idea? Not sure, but I wonder if I’ll ever get it back…

No telling.