i have never uttered a single word to anyone about what happened. i’ve been depressed about this lately, thinking that it was my fault. i know that this isn’t the pandora project, but i feel like it will somewhat help if i let someone know how i’m feeling because of my inability to speak.
i don’t understand what i did to you, for you to cause me all this worrying and suffering. you made me think that it was okay and that it was just a game. i’m disgusted with you and myself as well for being in that situation.
i pity you because of the terrible life you had as well, but i hate you as well. the memory is stuck to me like glue, and it’s so humiliating and stupid and why can’t i just forget it?
for all you’re worth, i hope you fall in a ravine or die or something. it upsets me to think about everything you’ve inflicted and yet you’re still living your life like nothing ever happened. i don’t have a voice and that sucks but i’ll say something some day, and i hope you go to hell for what you’ve done. thanks.
3 comments
Well if you want your abuser to pay for his crime, the best thing to do is tell the police. If convicted, it’ll destroy his life, esp. if he abused you as a child. Once he has a criminal record he will never be able to find a decent job-he’ll probably get his ass kicked in prison too.
Just because he had a bad life is no justification for him to harm you or anyone else. We’ve all suffered to some extent but we are also still culpable for our actions. Tell someone close that you trust about this incident and they can help you inform the authorities.
i think it’s one of the most humane qualities, to see pain and feel something for the one enduring it, even if it happened in the past.
even if the person hurts you.
it’s hard to hold that feeling, and one of hate, simultaneously. and you really didn’t have to do anything, for anything to happen. some people are just completely twisted, and only have a sense of morals in the limelight.
I can relate to the disgust too.. i hold myself in contempt for being in that situation. taking a hard look in the mirror hurts when i see what i am and have in part done to myself. it’s been hard sometimes, separating the hate for him and the disgust for me.
in general, the memories that are painful, are the most difficult to forget and ease. especially, when you leave it behind and walk forward.. if, in a way, you don’t face it directly.. when it’s not resolved.
i’m a bit older than you. but i can say that talking about it, to people who accept what you say, can provide some relief. i hope when you do, you’ll have the support of your family. good luck out there.
Look at the title though. bviously, you know your able to write. All you have to do is tell them about that.Thanks.