Mount Solitude

“Where it’s lonely at the top, because nobody else can hear you yell…..”

Tuesday. Drag yourself out of your warm comforting blankets and into the eye of the storm. Eat breakfast, alone in the corner without bothering anyone with your disheveled appearance. That girl you have a crush on, don’t you even look in her direction.

Get to class. Don’t open your mouth unless someone speaks directly to you. Even then, you aren’t worth anyone’s time. If you mattered to anyone, they’d talk to you. You are so worthless. School is such a waste of time, and we both know you won’t amount to anything. All you know how to do is smoke weed and be depressed. Nobody likes you. You’ll be lonely and poor for the rest of your pathetic life.

Time for lunch. You’re that guy that always plays pool in the recreation room with your headphones on during lunch aren’t you? Why don’t you have a girlfriend, or any friends? You are always alone, and that makes you different from everyone else. You’ll always be different. We can see right through you. What are those cuts all over your arm? Why are you so skinny? Don’t talk to us. You’re too different and we don’t understand different. You don’t belong here.

Last class. What an awful, shitty day. Nobody talks to you, and if they did, they probably just want something from you. True friends aren’t like that. You make yourself a target. Blame yourself. You’re such a loser. It’s your fault…..

Go to your dorm room. Ignore your roommates. Especially the one that introduced to you meth. He was just using you. Lie in bed and stare at the ceiling. Grab yourself that rope in your bottom drawer. Now tie it up all fancy in that hangman’s knot. No need to compose a note, people won’t be curious why you did it. Tie that rope around your neck, pull hard and enjoy the ride.