Will you be gone today? I’m no one to decide your worth or your situation , you can let it all out here and if that doesn’t work maybe you can decide on what else to do. Society is unreal. You’ll figure out that the time you’re spending pleasing society or dying for them could have been used to create great ideas of how society should be. Don’t get me started on society or people, I just hope you realise. I don’t even know much about your stuff but I guessed your inclination towards death has stemmed from the environment you’re in. Realise and Act. If dying is the last thing you want then maybe it’s your ‘awakening towards the truth’ which is not as shallow as the situations but something that will enrich your life for the best. Maybe you’re scared and want to escape because you mentioned ‘you fucked up things too bad’ tell me who didn’t fuck things too bad ? I fuck everything I get myself into. Its funny sometimes I burst out laughing at how terrible I made things that could have have become great. Lol. This is unreal. Let the weight off your shoulders you don’t deserve to stay under pressure. If its bothering you google the people who have fucked up more things than you can afford to.
Rest is upto yourself, you’re the master of your own mind and body. I just hope you take the best decision whether its ‘non-existence’ or ‘existence’ and anyways you wouldn’t be posting so sad if you weren’t in a deep hole so I can imagine and this was my concerned attempt I don’t always do that..
Peace and love