So I do Judo, I used to do it competitively but this year I stopped after my first international competition. Until then competing was a huge part of my life but I get extremely nervous months before a competition, which is part of why I stopped.
Recently I have been enjoying judo so much and feel I have gotten a lot better, I don’t know if it’s because I have stopped doing competition of something else but it makes me want to start competitions again. The only thing is I feel that if I start again I will lose the love I have right now for Judo, but mainly the fact that I have no reason to do competition. I have no goals, I have nothing to do competition for so if I start there isn’t going to be anything that’s driving me. The other thing is, is that my Dad is a coach, I hate him coaching me, like when we are not at judo. I mean at home I would practice, but I would rather just manage that on my own, like I don’t want him telling me what to do. So I guess that’s kinda why I stopped, but now I feel like fighting again, I just feel the need to do it and I don’t know what to do because it’s not as though I have any goals either. Anyways, I guess I’m going to be doing a lot of thinking, but I was just looking for some input on this, I don’t really have anywhere else better to go for advice than here so please, if you have anything you want to say write a comment.
(By the way i’m a 16 year old girl, just letting you know because I know people often ask that on here to get an idea of what type of person your talking to. One other thing, I have been doing the same amount of training I did when I competed but I a probably managing it on my own more which I like a lot better so it’s not as though I stopped fighting because of all the work I had to do or anything. Thank you for your time as well!).
4 comments
It seems like you’re having an inner calling of sorts to increase your Judo time. You said that you feel that you’ve gotten a lot better. Are you getting better by working solo or are there others who are (perhaps informally) helping you? Maybe you could maintain it as a hobby and leisure activity instead of a competitive sport.
Perhaps, after high school or college graduation, you could resume competitions if you’re interested at that point. It might be easier to select a coach other than your Dad if you’re not under the same roof. Granted, I’m not certain if there’s a barrier between you and Dad that could be resolved in the meantime.
If you want to start competing sooner rather than later, then maybe you and Dad could have a conversation. Either attempt to work through whatever barrier is present or let him know that you’d like to re-enter competitions independent of his coaching. I’m not sure how receptive he’d be to allowing you to compete under another coach. That’s something that you either know already or would find out in conversation.
You’re mindful of what could cause you to lose your love for Judo. That’s good knowledge to have. Whatever you do, think things through carefully so that you don’t risk losing your interest.
Thank you! This was so helpful, trust me, it definitely helped me a lot. Thank you so much!
I don’t know where you live, but I know in Western culture (certainly in the United States where I live) we are taught that we are supposed to be competitive. We are taught to put ourselves first and that the most important thing is winning, and this way of thinking is a part of our martial arts training. However, these martial arts were formed within cultures that do not emphasize this same way of thinking.
Developing yourself as a person – mentally, spiritually, physically – through your martial arts training IS a goal. In fact, letting go of the need to compete with others can allow you to concentrate on your training even more.
Competition can help with some things, of course, like building a person’s self-confidence around other people or teaching a person to lose with humility and grace. But it is absolutely not necessary to being an accomplished martial artist and it sounds like you’re getting more fulfillment by practicing in a non-competitive way.
Martial arts training, especially some of the more meditative practices, can be excellent for depression. There are also the other benefits of physical fitness and self-defense.
Please do not feel the need to return to competition if it is not what you really want.
And so you don’t think I’m just repeating things I read somewhere, I have lived with depression for decades and studied martial arts for about six and a half years. Most of that training was in a school that encouraged competition, but I also did some internal, non competitive training – which I liked better.
Thank you for your help, this was so helpful and I think I have a clearer understanding of what to do, thank you so much!