How could you build me up
Just to tear left of me
And one look into your eyes n i saw everything
Everything that is good in the world
All that is light, pure & joyful
Overtime you healed me
Made me better than i ever was
Gave me the sense of belonging & a childlike vibe of peace
My confidence flew past the stars
Insecurites, shortcomings, bad thoughts
Dissipated from my mind
Feeling whole again more so even
Overwhelmed with happiness asking myself is this real
Only to find out ive been playing myself, living in a fantasy world
How could you hurt me n do what you promised youd never
Do i mean nothing, in your eyes do i have no value
Overcome w/ pain.. still in shock unable to react
Only to see myself, shattered into a million pieces again but this time worse
Dont pretend you cant feel me hurting, when you look into my eyes
The emptiness of my hollow soul
Which was once burning w/ your affection
but now i sit alone struggling to grasp the truth
holding whats left of myself
asking why wasnt i worth it, asking why couldnt you love me like i love you
wondering if any of it was real, or has all of it been lies
Punishing myself for not being good enough, for giving you all of me
how could you not appreciate this, me & us
I thought i was special, how stupid i feel now
How can i be myself again, without doubting everything i do
ive always tried my best, n if thats now enough what then
Even still after your mistakes, im here waiting for you to pick up the pieces
but im here left alone trying to put myself back together, trying to prove to you what we have, when ive done nothing wrong, trying to feel the love you say you have for me but rarely show while trying to keep my sanity
How is it this hard for you to love me when its been so effortless for me to love you i dont ask for much, n now i feel as if i have to ask for less to make it easy for you
To be faithful & honest
I used to look up to you, but now i hate myself because of you
5 comments
Im brought to tears.just reading
Thank you.
So honest.
I love this, but I also hate that I can relate…not ias if I am speaking those words but as the one who broke someone that I love so dearly. You have a beautiful way with words and I hope someone cherishes you. If no one does now I can see how it would be easy for someone who gets to know you to appreciate and love you just as you are.
What could this person do to prove their love to you? I don’t deserve to know for my own situation but I desperately want to. Much love to you and your journey.
Thank you for your kind words. Im glad you could relate in your own way. To answer your question honestly, I dont know and Im not sure if I ever will. I was asked the same thing by that very person, and my answer was to go back in time & right the wrongs he had done to me. Its an irritional answer I know, but a real one, if that makes any sense. Much love to you as well.