Do you know what it feels like to be strangled to death? First, you feel the pressure in your throat. Your eyes water, and you start to taste something very, very sour in your mouth. Then it’s like someone lights a match right in the middle of your chest, and that fire grows. It fills your lungs, and your throat, and all the way behind your eyes. And finally, that fire turns to ice; like pins and needles of ice are sticking into your fingers, your toes, your arms. You see stars, then darkness. And the last thing you feel… is cold.
Rope and pills are a hand’s-breadth from me, decision has been made again. Nice clothes and make-up are on, well I can’t face death in my sweatpants, I am a lady.
I thought I found love, but I am thrown away again.
I am a fucking borderline, I can’t stand this. I will never have anybody to stand me, to love me like I could love.
I was hospitalized for three times, nothing changed, suicide has been always the way out for me and now it’s time again.
Bye SP, don’t be me. Have a good life.
11 comments
i truly know the feeling . i hope you would find peace …
will * ( i am stupid )
Thank you.
I’m planning to go in my PJS and I hope they bury me in them too with my comfy fluffy blanket and my unicorn hot water bottle lol
It’s not just for comfortablility if anyone wants to see me gone then at least it will look like I’m asleep and be a little less traumatic.
Also no person is worth killing yourself over in my opinion, I also have borderline personality disorder and I have been married for 10yrs and my psych was shocked that we are in a stable relationship it’s hard on him but he puts up with me because he says he loves me with all my quirks, maybe you will find someone like that but you might have to kiss some frogs before you find your prince or princess as they say.
I know you’re in a bad place and have been there for a while. I know you are very unhappy. Please try to accept yourself without blaming yourself.
Sure, you may be a bit bonkers and are hard to deal with. So what? It’s not like you chose this life!!!
You deserve love even if you are a magnificent nut. Blind people deserve love. Handicapped people deserve love. Yes, loving someone that’s got issues isn’t the easiest thing…
SO WHAT?
You are who you are. It’s OK to be flawed! All you can do is be upfront about who you are and try to make it work.
Guys are just as fucked up in a variety of wonderful ways. Some stutter. Some are bald. Some are cursed with too much money. They deserve love too.
I’m sorry some idiot dumped you. My advice is to not give up.
I have given up on myself a long ago. I am not loved by the ones I love. Every time I feel love, I am not loved back, I am pushed away like a piece of shit, and it’ll be always like this.
I enjoyed watching that movie
“Nice clothes and make-up are on, well I can’t face death in my sweatpants, I am a lady.”
LOL I cracked up on that line.
btw, you look “happy” and cute in your profile pic!
You know what’s funny? You went to all the trouble of dressing up for your suicide, but people crap their pants when they die, did you know that? Their bowels are released upon death. Yup. So all your vanity in death is pointless, eh?
Oh, and one more thing I forget… *ahem*
“Now that’s what I call a SHITTY attempt!”
(because the whole pants crapping thing? Eh? 🙂 )
400 mg Klonopin didn’t kick me off, so I couldn’t do it. By the way I haven’t eaten for days so..