How does one eradicate fear or become fearless? Is it just genetic or cognitive too? Can it be worked on?
I sometimes feel I might get more enjoyment out of my life or that it would be worth living if I had no fear. Then in the (unlikely) event I discover that it still wasn’t at least I would be more likely to succeed in killing myself.
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Fear can be a brain chemical problem, sure. Mostly I think it’s a combination of both that is synergistic.
For insights on how to eradicate fear I suggest watching any movie that centers around Marine Corps boot camp. (I’m not saying this is a good way to do it.)
I regularly do all sorts of things people have massive fear of, yet I have a crippling fear of calling strangers on the phone.
Somehow I manage but it isn’t pleasant. I am actually clueless about how to overcome this.
Get this: a woman emails me her phone number. I have no problem calling her to make a date. But if I have to call the DMV to straighten out a problem with my driver’s license I feel like something horrible will happen.
It’s ridiculous!
The Paxil helps, but not nearly enough.
Two of my favourite films are Apocalypse Now and Full Metal Jacket.. I struggle mainly with heights and speed I’m fine on a motorbike, BMX, mountain bike but on a skate board I can only manage very slight decline and these days there is no way I would go any where near a real bmx track, hell no.
I can also relate to the fear of sorting ‘boring but important’ shit out, it terrifies me and that is another way fear holds me back from myself.
supposedly exposure therapy should be good… for some…
I’m not real fond of heights if i don’t feel secure or “sturdy” planted,
my brother’s method of weaning me of such nonsense fear was to put me to work on steep slippery roofs, tall shaky untethered scaffolding, and make me be the one crossing over and up and down the roof beams whenever something was needed, nails, piece of string or a misplaced cigarette bud.
didn’t quite do the trick for me, and i can still get dizzy just standing on a loose 5inch doorstep.
but i do know a girl that was eventually able to hold a spider in her hands where once she passed out by the sight of them.
but being completely fearless for/with/about everything in the world and life, i think is only possible if certain parts of the brain is carefully maneuvered with an instrument or manhandled with some object,
though personally i’m not too keen to take a bat to the head to test that out, and can’t really afford to pay some back alley Walter Freeman’wannabe doctor to swing a scalpel in some attempt to test the thesis.
Did your brother do that to help you? My step dad used to make me do things because he knew i couldn’t stand it and he used to think ny fear of heights was stupid and he would make me do things and laugh because he was a bully.
yea he did do that to help
just in his own way, i was free to quit any time, he just wouldn’t give me any “special” treatment to treat me as fragile, but rather encourage exposure to be able to get over it in time, learn even something “unsafe” could be safe, or at least learn not to worry as much about it
which is sound enough for some cases, sorta like bootcamp, works for some, just not all that are as pliable to the direct approach, some people are just different and respond to other things and methods, delicate, obscure, weird or extreme
Yeah, see I’m completely fine with nature dont have much fear of animals/ insects. I dont if its height or irrational distrust or both but place me in or on the tallest building/bridge/ structure and I instantly think the whole thing will crumble/ collapse beneath me. I have an occasional recurring dream that my roof top flat does just that whilst I’m asleep. Its only a three floor building though so its not something I worry about!
Fear is something that you have to work at to overcome.
You need to get to a place in your mind where you are just going to set out what you really want to accomplish in life and not be afriad that anything will get in your way. And you have to also be willing to accept the fact… that even if you do. If you do set out to accomplish something in your life that it is possible that something might come up against you. It might be a person. It might be gossip. It might be illness or some other thing that comes against you. But I have to just decided that you are going to persue that thing no matter what… even if things come against you.
Me I have decided that in a case like this that this type of mindset is best. The mindset that says… I m going to persue my dream no matter what… and even if i dont make it. I will at least feel good about myself that I TRIED> I gave it my all.. and at least I can rest knowing that I at least tried to get that thing accomplished.
also the mindset that says this. >> I would rather live on my Feet then die on my knees.
that is to say… well I would rather have lived in peruit of my positive goals in life even if I did not make it all the way… then to have lived just sitting around in the corner in fear and not even trying in life
so formulate good goals and good dreams in your life and then set out to get them done
and know that even if they dont all come true… that you are at least a better person because you tried. I have more respect for people who have tried to accomplish something good with their life even if they failed > then for them to be a total coward in life and never left the house because of fear.
Hey we are all going to die eventually anyway. So why not DIE at least trying to pursue your positive dreams in life then to die doing nothing with yourself
I wish you the best and I hope and pray that if you set out to achieve some dream in life that you are able to make it happen and be a success story and have happiness in life over your success.
Thank you for this Riffraff, I’m not any good at formulating and have no organisational skills I guess I feel I have tried (probably not hard enough) but every time I do I get knocked down, there’s always something or someone that wants to add this or that or a sprinkle of something else to the shit sundae of my life. I’ve never been thick skinned and I guess that is something I am trying to work on but it is so effing hard when you just keep getting kicked down. It breaks my heart that my little half brother gives me advice and tries to motivate me he has an excellent head on his shoulders I love him to pieces but he takes on so much and he shouldn’t have to. In ideal world he should look up to me (he says he does but I have no idea what for) I want to make him proud for myself for him and for everyone else that cares about me, listen to myself- this is what I hate. I should feel lucky that I have people who care about me regardless of what’s happenned in my life, some people have it so much worse I just cannot seem to be able to break the cycle of self-loathing and self-pity and break out of my pathetic self-centered, self-destructing bubble.
I may or may not be echoing a bit of wht Riffraff said, but the idea of being fearless is a freaking myth. Everyone is afraid of something. Fearless people accept the fact that they are afraid of something, but they won’t let it stop them from their ultimate goal, or they won’t let the fear of that thing control their life…
That’s my opinion anyway..
I’m working on this right now but the key is to be yourself be honest and fight with no one argue with no one just let it be and walk. I do that I do plenty I walk like nothing fears me if a car hits me idc I have enjoyed this strength and I’m being myself that’s my will and it’s working given the circumstances of my life it’s no surprise it has come to this. I hope it gives you a pointer now time to feed my annoying cat lol
Its interesting you mention that as I get the feeling of “no surprise” all the time.. I think its apathy through being so used to everything going wrong/ messing up when I try, thanks though and hope the kitty us fed. Hahaha I just have image of going “No Kitteh, that’s a bad kitteh”.. “no kitteh this is MY pot pie!”
I like how you perfectly understand exactly what I meant in fact you helped me understand it more it is those things when your used to dealing with the worst and wrong happening even though you put effort plus while dealing with constant judging from others especially being single my whole life which is my most used line and most painful I just don’t care much of it what people think or what I think either I just walk and create this strength it’s limited but good feeling enough to give me that edge. Hahaha kittey let me tell you something telling him “good kittey or bad kittey” he doesn’t care for nothing he wakes me up 5am to feed him OMG I’m not animal person but everyone is shocked to see how much I show for this kittey I clean his litter I feed him ughhh this damn kittey hahaha. I must say I enjoy talking to you
I think fear is both innate and learned. I think the innate fears are harder to overcome. To conquer any fear though is to face it, that’s the only way… and sometimes THAT doesn’t even work and the fear is still there. I have a fear of snakes always have, I have touched one, never held one though, and I still have the fear of them. Heights, this is funny, I have more anxiety being 100ft up on something than I do jumping out of plane at 10,000 ft. I went skydiving once and had no fear what so ever. Screwy right? But fear can be that way. You have to have the will I think to overcome them, the more you do it the less fear you usually have because it generally becomes natural to you. I do think it depends on what the fear is though. I will always have a fear of snakes even if I did actually hold one… everything about them gives me the heebee-jeebees.