She is 13 and my heart and soul and noicing she is online at the same time I have to block her. My baby girl I have to put on ignore and I have been crying and throwing up since. My baby who I watched grow up and get into gaming and set up her STEAM account and now I cannot play with her on one of the co-op games we loved to enjoy playing.
I am losing my fucking mind and my heart is about destroyed. She is my angel and my beautiful girl I saw barely make it out of the womb due to being stuck and I had to help the doctor bring her in the world then she would not cry and spend a week in ICU before she was ok. I taught her the ABC’s, her colors, how to dress, and everything else.
Never laid a finger on her in her 13 years of life and the wife get an injunction on me saying I scared her and I am stuck in this shit apartment wondering when I can find the strength to take the gun out from under my bed and end the pain and end the suffering. IT is too much and I am losing my fucking mind. I miss my family so much I would sell my soul to get them back.
I LOVE YOU ERIKA ANN, ASHLEY ANN and AYDAN ANN. I am sorry for the things I have done. Please oh please GOd it cannot be too late.
Please do not let it end thmis way please. Living without you is death and not having you is torture so if I cannot have you back, please give me the strength to end this.
I have never cried so much for three people in my life but those three people are all I ever need. If I have to promise to do whatever they want for the rest of their life and take years off my life to have them for a short time I will.
Please help me find the way back to their hearts. I LOVE YOU SOO MUUCH!
7 comments
IT IS FAILING APART AND I CANNOT STOP IT!!!
why on earth would that not be allowed/a violation?
granted i don’t exactly got much legalese in my head, but that doesn’t just seem weird, but down right unfair.
how about them counselings, nothing something like that could assist with to get some better and more reasonable boundaries?
custody is one thing, but prohibiting digital interaction, seems off, and unjust if there is not something monumental behind the reasoning..
but maybe my country is just a little more lax in those matters luckily..
I’m sorry for this though, and I hope you manage to see ahead and be levelheaded long enough to find a route through those messed up obstacles
That is somethng Florida does as they could give two shits about the father. I am finally broken. They got what they wanted. I have been crying for two hours.
I have the weapon ready and just wanting the courage to end it.
I love you Ashley and Aydan Anderson always and forever. Daddy could not see you and the pain was killing me.
you should ditch the weapon and do like guru Smith suggests, so you get to tell that to them in person, instead of leaving it on a site where they might never will get to read/know it
put your love to good use, let it help guide you and push you through this suck
even the most destitute unfortunate soul has been known to triumph the uphill battle even against the legal systems
effort and perseverance and you might just likely end up being able to show those girls of yours the love in your heart for them
no one ever won anything giving up, so if you want a shot to win those girls back, you gotta start fighting, for them and yourself
few things in life are impossible, even fewer things than we might think
Hire a lawyer. If you can’t afford it then go to a legal aid clinic. There are rules. You get a say in these decisions. Educate yourself about your options. Join AA. Sell the damned gun.
If you are a religious person, go to church and talk to your pastor.
Find a divorce support group.
Your problems are neither unique nor insurmountable. People just like you have navigated these rocky reefs and come out whole. Yes, it sucks. Yes, it’s painful. Yes, it is worth it.
Good luck!
Missing, I feel you man.. Our situations resonate well. I try to keep up on your posts. I’m not the type of person to feed you shit about things getting easier or miracles happening or whatever.
But you do have love to give to your kids. I’m trying to hang on for mine, and man is it hard. I’ve had the worst ups and downs. And the ups are just moments where I’m not actively seeking out my own demise.
I’m doing my best to give things a chance, I think you can find a bit of something to hold on to as well. Give it a bit of time and give it your best shot. You should be able to get reasonable terms for seeing your kids.
But in the mind state were in it makes getting those breaks and opportunities almost impossible. If you can break away from the pain and the thoughts of losing them. You might stand a better chance of getting them back.
That’s what I’m hoping for and trying to do. I’m trying to give it one last shot and do the best that I can to change things. And if I can’t, I can always end it later.
I’m not trying to be patronizing or anything either. I get the hurt and pain. I spent almost all day today thinking about how to end it. But this is one of those points where that isn’t the consuming thought.
I hope things work out for you in one way or another man.
Thansk Sum. I am trying a difficult as it is to hang in there but not seeing them at all is probably the worst thing I have ever had to deal with ever. I could fight her to get them back but then we would be at constant war and no one wins. The kids are who would lose and it makes no sense.
I am mostly hoping to tell them I did not leave them and I will always be there for them and that I love them with everything I am and ever will be. I would so love to hold them one more time but with each day comes new disappointment.
Lawyers have told me that inunctions are hard to reverse but mine is over in March so that is some good hope unless she decides to reinstate it. But I live away from her and have not seen her or the kids since and I do not even have her number so who knows with these judges today.
I can effectively say that my life is not what I envisioned in school and at 45 it is what I wished it wasn’t.
I am just so tired.