I have this full-length mirror in my bedroom, every time I look in it I hate myself, every time I don’t look at it I think about how bad I look. I hate myself so much now, I don’t want to go outside, even though I stay in my room I change my clothes like three times even though I don’t even leave my house. I got a haircut the other day, I hate the way I look, I hate how I look in all my clothes. It’s not as though I can change the way I look either, this sucks. I’m trying to loose muscle (Because I’m muscly from sports and stuff) so I can be skinny, but that takes time and I just hate myself now.
By the way, I’m 16 years and, and a girl, someone always asks how old I am and stuff so I’ll just tell you now.
3 comments
“Muscle weighs more than fat.” one phrase I’ve heard a lot.
Y’know, there really isn’t anything wrong with having the ability to kick ass. Being tone and fit, isn’t necessarily a bad thing.
‘Sides, honestly a healthy body type has a lot more diverse range than what we see as ‘skinny’.
Was there something specific that sparked this? I think you’ve been doing sports for awhile.
I once had a full-length mirror mirror, it didn’t quite reflect what i had hoped
so i tried to alter my appearance, stood before it again, still not the right image before me
then i learned it was funhouse distortion mirror, didn’t have much use for it after that
then i learned perception might matter in the eyes of some, and to others even more
but i learned, that it is much easier to alter appearance and thus perception, than it is to alter the minds of the other people demanding their perceptions be “right”,
and so their perceptions no longer mattered to me, only a select few, and most importantly, my own
bought another mirror after that, much better than the funhouse mirror, might not be much better, but at least now a Snorlax is in the reflection instead, I can’t help but chuckle and find it fun, even if everyone else don’t find a Snorlax reflection appealing every time, it’s good enough for me, and if not i can always change it whenever i want, because buying a new mirror is easy, changing other peoples/idiots minds isn’t, so they simply don’t matter.
Most people want to be muscly in nowadays society (or at least to have a toned body), and since you did sports it might take a while to lose muscle (like you mention), but it’s completely doable if that’s what you want (i’d say learn to accept and love yourself but i’m guessing that didn’t work). I used to do lots of sports a decade ago and then dropped it, can’t remember how much time it took to lose muscle but i’m sure it was not more than a year (but i did stop doing sports almost completely). Fun thing? now i’m trying to gain muscle again because i feel uncomfortable being skinny, hah. If anything, try to find a healthy middle, it’ll be easier/healthier on your body.