I had PTSD for 4 years over something stupid.
I have ASD/schizoid personality/generalized anxiety disorder, and didn’t know until recently.
I’ve been thinking about suicide since I found out what it was when I was 5 or 6.
Is it really crazy to want to leave, doesn’t it only matter what you do while you’re here..? And if you do what you’re meant to, who decides what is enough? When do you stop? Why is an accident fate but choosing to leave based on what’s inside you is wrong… How is that not fate as well? Because if it wasn’t meant to be, why did it happen?
Anyway. I’m going to try to live my life purpose while I get my things together. I think I’m just supposed to be more open, being sad doesn’t really help anyone if no one knows its happening… And I feel like if you admit you’re human others will too, then we’re all a little less alone.
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I too have traces of schizoid PD since I have schizophrenia… as such I either feel nothing or only depression…
i am sorry you’ve been trough this .. and i can somehow relate .. but other than that i don’t know what to say about fate …