They are these: I can always find reasons to live another day, another month, maybe even a year. But are they enough? Doubtful. Now the other piece:
Well what about the future, won’t it be better? Not likely. I’m almost 60 and I am clearly seeing that I do not have the brain or body I once had.
Now to be sure I am no slouch at the present but I passed my peak in most respects about a year ago and I clearly see from here on it will be an accelerating decent until my life has no useful purpose and no good way out either unless I act while I still can .
I intend to find the best possible way out while I can. That is my plan.
16 comments
Interesting post, interesting ideas. I am about to turn 53, and am thinking along the same lines. I fear losing my independence above all else, and would rather die at my own hand, when I decide, than have to rely on others. I understand your train of thought and agree with you.
Yes indeed. Depending on the way out, even the way out can be a very perishable thing itself. Certainly If I let myself fall into a health system, or just get a few years older, i risk being stuck in a dubious life for many years. Sounds like a horror movie to some of us but I notice this is totally sanctioned by Big Health.
If I go reasonably soon, I should have good control over when, how. where, who with etc when I go.
Boy I’d love to discuss this further.
I am ok with either posting up email briefly or keeping all discussion here. either way.
Let’s visit it another time.
That is fine. Meanwhile I will keep on looking into such things.
Good plan.
Your post was very sensible and pragmatic. Something I’m thinking about as well, though I’m in my mid 40s. It reminds me of my mother who’s in her 60s, her health isn’t great but she still keeps chugging along. It gives me great peace of mind to know in Canada we have legalized euthanasia and it’s an option I discussed with her.
She’s Christian, in the past she was very much against assisted suicide but I think as she’s gotten older she’s become more open to the idea. I also told her of a friend of mine whose mother died of cancer and she suffered terribly for a year before she died and was stuck in a hospital.
I think having kids gives some older people purpose and reason to be around. I get along well with my parents (wasn’t always that way) and I’m glad they’re still here and hope they stay as long as they can. My dad is more open-minded and I think when the time comes he will take the euthanasia option without hesitation, hoping that my mom will also.
If I was in her shoes and had no children then I’d seriously be thinking about assisted suicide also. My take is, if life is ok and you have no real worries/problems and can still be independent, self-sufficient then keep living. If however your world is falling apart, along with your health, then there’s no reason to keep going.
In my case I plan to dramatically improve my life over the next 5-10 years and if things work out as I believe they will then I’ll probably just stick around into old age. I’ll likely get married and might even have kids (but there’s a slim chance for that-I’m not too keen at this age). If within that time I make zero progress in my life then I will seriously consider ending it.
In some ways I’m already sick of living today but I keep going because I have the belief that things will get better for me. If they never do, the good thing is that I have few attachments, no kids so my loss won’t affect too many people around me.
I have no sense of shame in it either. In the past I worried about letting others down or that they’d feel sorry for me or something. Now I really couldn’t give a damn, I do things for my own best interest. I’ll stick around as long as I feel I can to help out my parents/family but those are the only people I care about.
It’s too bad life is so short, when you hit certain age ranges you stop caring about things that used to matter and just focus on getting the most out of the time you have left.
Day: It’s great that you have a plan! Very exciting. You seem like you have a good heart, too. Hope everything works out for you.
@WitlessWhit,
Thanks, I appreciate and likewise.
@a1957
Agreed-it’s unfortunate that the US still lacks compassion towards those seeking Euthanasia unlike many western nations. But hopefully in time it will be legalized for Americans also.
I think you are on target there Day. All those factors you mentioned certainly figure into this most difficult of decisions. Almost everybody here supports choice, whichever way it goes.
There will come a day when youth will pass away; then what will they say about me? When the end comes I know they’ll say “just a gigolo” as life goes on without me.
Speaking of which, ready for your trip abroad?
Still to do: 1) ask T-Mobile how to make my phone work over there. 2) decide if I should join TSA pre check program. 3) buy eurorail pass. 4) read more on where to do currency exchanges. 5) seduce ghost of Mary, Queen of Scots. 6) drive 3000 miles (long story). 7) not get hit by meteorite. 8) buy car cover. 9) get ride to airport.
TSA pre check program? Do you send your luggage advance and show up to the airport in the buff? (Which airport? What time? KIDDING! No, really.)
A bit impatient no?