(16, Female, because people ask).
gawd I just want to cut myself, I hate myself so much. I feel so guilty and I know I have no reason to feel guilty but I do. Sometimes I feel guilty for other people and I feel guilty when I can’t work something out, and whenever I make a mistake and just always now. I need to punish myself so cutting myself feels so good.
Today me and my friend were taking a test for a sport that we do and while we where waiting for the results I was talking, I can’t remember what I was talking about but I think I was just talking pointlessly because we were just waiting and it was boring, as I was talking one of my friends, he just said to me ‘your annoying’, like in a serious way and I asked ‘what? Why am I annoying’ but then my other friend, she pulled me away from him to get away from him before I could get and answer and it’s really stressing me out because I feel really horrible about it and I don’t know what I did and I hate myself for being so bothered by it but I am really bothered about it and I can’t help it.
Now I’m just here feeling guilty and awful, I don’t want to talk to people and I feel so guilty and I feel so pathetic for thinking like this but I can’t help it and I know that I’m going to probably have to cut myself to stop thinking like this as much otherwise I’ll keep thinking about it all night and I think that I’m such a little ***** for doing it but cutting feels so much better.
4 comments
Don’t punish yourself for something that you had no control over. If someone thinks you’re annoying then that sucks for them. But you did nothing wrong. And please don’t cut….do you have any idea how this is gonna look like to you years from now? I do cuz I used to do it too. It makes me sick thinking about it because cutting yourself is so dark. You don’t have to do this. There’s healthier ways to express your pain. If I were you I’d toss that blade away. That’s what I did and I haven’t reached for another one in years.
Forgive me for asking but are you a blonde?
What does that have to do with anything?
You have nothing to feel guilty about. Its his problem he found you annoying. He may not’ve meant in general he may have meant in that instant because you were rambling, either way ut was a rude and insensitive remark to make. People are weird, every body is different.. Dont beat yourself up over this it’s not worth it.
Oh because in my history of elementary, middle & high school I have seen and dealt with girls who were and felt the same as Lawli and the majority were blondes it has a lot to do with this I remember cheering one of them up with my comment I just can’t remember what i said. Nice hearing from you again missinglink oh
BTW I might become the new Sheriff of SP soon lol