I have no money, no rope and my ceiling is too low anyway. Nothing sharp save for breaking glass but I don’t own a bath tub. Woods and gorge are a long walk through the town and I cannot stand the people. Last time I headed that way (crying) someone yelled after me questioning whether I had aids or hep C (assuming they made the assumption I’m a druggie?) the police picked me up and anyway I would have to be drunk as I’m terrified of heights and that would not bode well for the walk. Nope, will not throw myself under a bus/train/truck as Im not selfish enough to involve another person/ people in my death. If I was an American citizen I could prob get a gun at the click of my fingers but Im British… I think my ideal way would be to exit on a high and OD on H – kill two birds with one stone; achieving the ultimate high and killing myself but like I said I have no money especially not that much. So I guess I’m just waiting around for the sky to fall in or until I come up with a better plan. Pathetic, eh?
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Im afraid you get to a point with the train/bus thing where you simply don’t care anymore. Selfish? yeah, but ya think ya gonna be dead anyway. Why so many of these sort of suicides happen, and if ya ain’t got another method ya gotta go with what you’ve got.
I’m also from the UK, but if I was from the US I’d use the gun, I’d have to work up to it and get drunk, but I think I could do it.
I agree with you there. Just last night I was thinking to myself that or those same reasons I could be close to the point of not caring. I wonder if/ when I will get to that stage.. Gun would be ideal.
I’m in Bristol but not from there where shouts in the UK are you Woody?
Where abouts*
The city of Glasgow.
That’s ironic, I’ve literally just finished reading a book in a Glaswegian accent. Actually think most of my books are by Scottish authors.
Now that I know I shall read all your posts and comments in that accent. Much to my annoyance (probably for the best) my stunningly perfect Glaswegian accent cannot get past my lips therefore it remains in “ma heid far scawtash readin”..
Sorry your going through this. I’m in the USA and I sadly deystroyed the gun that I was planning to use to end it thanks for reminding me 🙁 the reason I had to destroy it was because when I was 17 before my dad passed away he told me/my uncle that if I ever find it that were to destroy it. I was 19 when I found it and kept it for 5 years contemplating and I ended up destroying it for his sake.
But I’m the same with you I’m broke lonely and all used up and I plan to end it pretty soon due to many many reasons I hope you find peace in your life your a great person from what I read in previous posts 🙂
That’s a hell of a story Sadlife, sorry you went through that. As far as I know my dad’s still alive but he’s never bothered with me so I don’t bother with him, he’s a prick. Last I saw of him he blanked me, looked straight through me, nothing there. Hell my step dad abused me physically and mentally but even he showed more of an interest. I took the abuse and I can get over it but the fact that my dad doesn’t give a shit hurts more despite my own attempts at not giving a shit my self. Thank you for your kind words.
I was in the same situation as you until I managed to get a gun. But it hasn’t arrived until now and time’s running out, so maybe I’ll stab myself with a knife? But yeah, guns are a sure way to go.
Woah, the uk! I would’ve liked to travel there
How’s it like in there?
@Kamidaka where are you from? UK isn’t anything special but we have a nice mix of cultures (depending on where you go) my City Bristol is a diverse City great for the arts and music, interesting people from all walks of life. As with anywhere there is a divide between poverty and gentrification. The U.K. has lovely countryside (what’s left of it) and some us are fighting to protect the woodlands and wildlife. We have some nice coastal areas too. Kamidaka, the fact that you say you would have liked to travel here does that not spark a flame of hope? Could you not strive for this kind of escape instead? I feel that you have been brought up in this horrific bubble of torture and abuse and this is all you know but there is hope for you outside of it, there could be a better life for you the life you deserve if you only could.
That sounds like a pretty place to live, I’m curious about the diversity you speak of.
I’m from Bolivia, and although everything is super cheap in here, plane tickets are unbelievably expensive.
I would’ve loved to visit another countries. I dunno, maybe if this tiredness that seems to linger in my body constantly washes away before the gun arrives I might try to escape again. Only time will tell but, if I do manage to do it, I would like to visit you c:
Not that it matters, but you don’t need to be a US citizen to buy a gun, unless the laws have changed. You need to have a clean criminal background (including documented suicide attempts), and not have been involuntarily committed to a mental institute … at least in my state.
30 day wait (“cooling off”) for handguns.
If the attempt with a gun fails, you will have to relinquish the weapon and you will never be able to own a firearm again.
Einsamkeit, thank you for your response. I live in the UK and I think it’s illegal to own a gun at all but I will look into it now, you got me thinking.
No problem.
But, all I can say is … if you get a gun, plan your trajectory very carefully. And, do not hesitate the slightest bit.
Even if both the above are accomplished, there is luck involved, because the body has been designed with bones to protect vital organs.
Do your research. Period.
Are you a Liverpudlian/Scouser ?
Went down The Asda earlier with me bird, proper gutted like … it was chocka – took us ages to get served, gutted.
Hahaha! No, I’m not scouse but my English football team is Liverpool. My Scottish one is Hib’s (Hibernians).
Luckily I’m from a lot of places so I don’t have an especially distinctive accent to be embarrassed of. (Not that people necessarily should be) although I have to be careful when speaking to people as I have a tendency to absent-mindedly soak up and mimic strong accents.. Some people say I’m well-spoken but I’m not posh at all. 🙂 Are ya’ll a rootin tootin Texan?
Ha, that just reminded me of something pretty funny. I’m from Louisville and nobody here really has an accent. My dad and I met this couple from I want to say West Virginia that had really thick southern accents. He hears their thick accent when they first start talking, pauses for a second and says “Well Howday, We’re from Ken-tuck_y” in the most rediculous fake southern accent I have ever heard in my life and continues talking in the fake accent the entire conversation with them. I was trying so hard not to break out laughing, because his accent just keep getting thicker and more insane as the conversation went on.
Embarrassed ? Are you kidding me ?!!! English folks are a blast to be around ! And, in the case of females speaking, … quite sexy.
I’ve dated a couple of English women They were so free spirited and refreshingly different from local gals.
Wolf – LMAO ! Your Dad is hilarious 🙂
West Virginia reminds me of a flight I took a long time ago. The flight attendant who served me was from WV.
She brought me some tomato juice. She then asked me, (what sounded like) “Would you like some lamb ?” I thought … what a strange addition to tomato juice.
I was like “What’s that ?” … “Lamb” (three times) … (frustrated attendant) “Lamb !!!” (me) “Oh, lime ?” … “No, thank you.”
Wolfenstein, LOL that’s so funny 😀 I’ve literally just been laughing to myself for a good 35 secs neighbours must think I’m bonkers (they’d be right). HA!
IM DYING LITERALLY OMG
Ha, nice. That made me think of batman for some reason.
Ha, just realized I had no context to that reply. Super tired, but I always think of batman in the dark knight talking when I think of having trouble understanding accents/voices.
Lol why did that make you think of batman? In what context?
I mean, even if it is entirely illegal people still have them so there must be a way.. Plenty of gangs in the city.. What’s the worst that can happen? Get shot and die? Oh no! Wait..
I cant breathe I’m crying omg that’s hilarious, Lamb!
hey, i feel what your going through. i want to die, but theres so many excuses as to why i shouldnt that im starting to think that maybe i dont really want to die, i want to be saved. then again, i run from hospitals and basically anyone or anything trying to help me, so im not sure how its possible to “get saved” but i definitely know i am not capable of saving myself at this point. so maybe, death is just the better option in the end.. just have to figure out when and how, but i keep putting it off.i think i was just born a procrastinator.
You and me both young one, sorry I didnt see your comment last night and then I fell asleep. Sounds to me like there is some hope for you, young procrastinator.. Perhaps myself as well who knows?
“RACHAEL!! DO YOU WANT SOME LAAAMB?”
😛
I’m having trouble imagining what a west virginian growling batman voice would even sound like.
In my head its happening as a constipated old man like one of the ones from Grandpa’s old folks home in The Simpsons…
If you guys like accents, watch the stand up comedian Russel Peters.
I just wanted to tell you that I’m so glad we’ve been able to get to know each other a bit more, and that I wouldn’t ever wish death on you, hun. Also, you sound stuck, just like me.