I’m having a huge fight internally.
Just want to go put my noose in the basement to use, but also, I just told my mom the other day I’m considering getting into crime scene cleanup, because dealing with other people’s traumas…. maybe it’ll discourage me, seeing what the aftermath of a suicide looks like in real life, if I got called to clean one.
Also debating putting my “story” up here, to mostly bond with others in a “similar darkness”.
Fuck you darkness.
4 comments
Whenever i’ve done research and looked up dead bodies, it always made my dark moods worse, not eased them.. never got to the point of desensitization. Not sure if that’d be a possibility for you when you’re immersed in the realities of what’s left.
There’s enough stories on here ive read to get a clear idea of how those left behind would cope, and i know enough of my people to know how they’d deal anyway. death isn’t pretty, however we go.. i know that from my pets.
As for the other, go for it. sometimes its easier to get support for certain issues from people who fully understand.
I sometimes will watch videos of suicides and I can’t really say I feel anything. Just numbness. So in real life? Maybe it would be a bad idea. I’ll be talking to my new therapist about it.
Losing a pet is so very hard. I hate the day we have to say goodbye to them.
I always say it’s my siblings that are keeping me here, because I’m the oldest of 4 I don’t want them following me and hurting my mother even more than she’d be if I killed myself.
It’s a lot. To live and to die.
I once did group therapy with people in the same boat as I. It worked really well for the issue it was focused on (divorce). SP is my group therapy for suicide. So yes, I hope you can tell your story here because I am sure it will be needed by others and you will have catharsis no doubt.
Group therapy…. that’s one thing I’ve not been able to really fit in to. Guess I’ll have to try again one day….
Yeah, I will put my story up at some point. I only hope to help others while I’m still around.