the background check for the gun. It is in my trunk until I can move it safely without my mom noticing. I also got a box of ammo. I know you’ll all think I’m a total wimp, but its kind of scary, all of this. Scary if I don’t succeed. Scary if something goes wrong with my plan so I wont be able to go out the way I want to, where I want to, when I want to. Scary because, I don’t know, I’m going to shoot myself. I know this sounds crazy like, why the fuck did you get the gun anyway. I’m SCARED to shoot myself, but I can’t go on like this forever. Everyone has an expiration date. Mine was last year pretty much, but the store forgot about me and I’m back here just waiting to be thrown in the garbage, because that’s where I should be. Anyway, do you think I’m crazy/a total wimp?
12 comments
12 comments
You’re not crazy or a wimp. You’re a human being, and this is a very natural human reaction, even for someone who’s suicidal. Even though you want to die, you still have survival instincts. We all do. And the idea of surviving the attempt is scary too. You never know if you’ll wake up in a hospital afterwards with a mangled face. So I’d say you’re being absolutely reasonable.
Those dang survival instincts, huh?
Crazy, yes, maybe. But I don’t know your pain.
Wimp? Never. Such terms are not at all useful.
I hope you find peace.
You don’t HAVE to use it, you know.
There are a few guys on here who own guns and feel it is a sort of comfort to them. They say just knowing they have that option at any time, gives them a sort of solace.
Thinking of you.
I’m going for my background check very soon as well, wish me luck!
I envy you guys can buy guns. I went to hospital twice, so I wouldn’t pass the background check even if I had the money. If I had a gun, I would shoot myself in the chest, so I wouldn’t have to worry about waking up disfigured.
That sucks, one hospital trip and it’s goodbye background check. This world just tries everything to keep us alive so we can keep giving them money.
I can barely hold a job, so why would they want to keep me alive? Heck, I have a debt that may not and refuse to pay off. The government, bunch of crooks, think they’re going to enslave me? Ha!
Same here man, I can never hold a job and I can’t even hardly get one. True dunno why the government tries so hard to keep us alive.
Some say that this earth is just a prison, and our bodies are like these prison uniforms that restrict our abilities. When we die, we shed our prison uniforms, and then we can do more than what we could do on earth. The government doesn’t want us to leave because they are the prison guards.
I googled “why prevent suicide” and every variation of it I could think of and came up with nothing as to why. Seems odd for it to be a big deal and yet have no stated reason, at least that I could find.
No one can really pin point, what’s the meaning of life. I think that if I die maybe I could find out, but if it’s just black, oh well.